This is a very old one, I have seen many variations, as far as I know it's "Anonymous":
THE BANTAM COCK
He was a fine upstanding bantam cock.
So brisk and stiff and spry!
With a springy step and a jaunty plume.
And a purposeful look in his eye.
In his little black laughing eye.
So I took him to the coop and introduced him to.
Me seventeen wide-eyed hens.
And he tooked them a took as a hero tooks,
He bowed to them all, and then...
He up and took 'em all again!
Then upon the peace of me ducks and geese.
He boldly did intrude.
With glazed eyes and open mouths.
They bore him with fortitude.
And a little bit of gratitude!
He jumped me giggling guinea foul,
He thrust his attentions upon.
Me twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan.
The bantam thundered on!
He groped me fantail pigeon doves.
And me lily-white colombine.
And his eye was alookin' at me budgerigar
When he jumped me parrot from behind.
It was sittin' on me shoulder at the time!
But all of a sudden, with a gasp and a gulp,
He clapped his wings to his head.
He lay flat on his back with his feet in the air.
Me bantam cock was dead.
And the vultures circled overhead.
What a noble beast, what a champion cock.
What a way to live and to die.
But as I dug him a grave to protect his bones.
From those hungry buzzards in the sky,
The bantam opened up a sly little eye.
He gave me a wink, and a terrible grin,
The way that rapists do.
He said, "You see them silly dark buggers up there.
They'll be down in a minute or two!
They'll be down in a minute or two!"
(music)
[This message has been edited by bear_music (edited January 22, 2002).]
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