Hi John,
Overall, I like the poem.
I agree with Nemo about the meter in the last line. Getting that right is crucial, because there is a two-count metrical structure throughout the poem that tends to be a bit wobbly. Ending on a tight line would right the rest.
I also labor through this "sentence", but I may be distracted by policing the meter ~,:^)
and when the hunters
come for me
I do not flee,
have no concern
their too-loud guns
will send me flying
from my mate.
Rick
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