[Douglas G. Brown]

When our relationship went bust,
My wife sped off in my Chevrolet,
Trailed by a roiling cloud of dust,
Over the hills and far away.

Up to a lofty mountain top,
Down a ravine on the other side,
Crashing a fence, “Bridge Out, Please Stop”;
(Witnesses think it was suicide.)

Gone, was my burden of forty years …
And then, her niece came into my life;
A spittin’ image of Britney Spears,
Saying she wished to be my wife.

Now, I must end this silly lay
And concentrate on carnal thrills;
My friend, go buy a Chevrolet,
And send your wife beyond the hills.