John -
This reminded me of the stuff I wrote when I was in middle school. The only thing I've taken away from it is a feeling that I shouldn't spend any money on work by Nichita Stănescu.
This is far below the usual quality of your work. I don't think there's anything here worth saving. It has repetition without purpose, a narrator who remains removed from the narrative, and images that fail to illuminate.
JB
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