[Julie Steiner]

"They're hoarding toilet paper! Why?"
I hear my husband scoff.
His own hoard towers eight feet high,
but it was marked half off.

He buys in bulk when it's on sale.
He loses all control.
I've pleaded "Stop!" to no avail.
He can't. He's on a roll.

But when the stuff's in short supply,
its price reflects demand.
I think without a bargain buy
he'd rather use his hand.

And so I'm worried anyhow,
despite my husband's stash.
I fear he'll trade his stockpile now
for less-absorbent cash.