Thread: another etym
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Unread 05-21-2020, 12:53 PM
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Andrew Mandelbaum Andrew Mandelbaum is offline
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Walter I love this entry. One of the best so far and I like them very much through and through so far. I don't mind some form of the asp bit in either version though could imagine something even better might come up.Version one seems to tie the choice of clay (a preexisting yet mutable substance) in with fixity. Maybe so. Clay does harden so the myth choice might lead there but you like open the either/or to clay by some form of:

Or you can believe that what came clay was an ideogram... Just trying to keep the pieces but change the board of that makes sense. Either way, a small thing. Love the rest. I like the word unchanging but could see why the heavier lean toward self-direction in unalterable brings something you may need.

Strongly dislike the Um! stanza. Definitely something else there.

I wonder if there is a metaphor that can be worked into the final section?
...you can realize the loom of self is strung with words and thus resilient...
Not that loom\strung cliche but another process that involves both infinite openings but the grounding of the form/preexisting stuff. Or not. Construct is fine but so many bad takes use that word that it might be better to define your own business here.

Either way great entry.

Benjamin's Language of Man and Language is one of my favorite stories on these lines.Especially given room and set free from his own particulars.
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