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Unread 08-23-2019, 06:46 PM
Julie Steiner's Avatar
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 6,051

Hey, Susan!

I wonder if "Advent" (capitalized) would be more evocative than "coming" (not capitalized). Or if you want to be more theologically ambiguous, just capitalizing "Coming"? (I do think Rilke is talking about the Second Coming, the approach of the divine, as an ongoing thing, not something that has not yet begun.)

I would encourage you to try to work "burdens" in there--"what you bear" doesn't have the same impact.

The final stanza refers pretty clearly to Genesis 32:22-32, as I'm sure you're aware. Reframing the hip injury as breaking a mold is a startlingly apropos connection, I think. Also interesting that it seems to be the burdens, not the angel, wrestling the "you" of the poem at night.
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