Not all stresses are beats, of course. What I do is indicate word-stresses with capitalization and poetic beats with bold-print:
THAT'S my LAST DUCHess PAINTed on the WALL.
If you want more flexibility in your meter, use a more flexible meter. Perhaps avoid foot-oriented syllable stress poetry and write stress poetry instead. There's no point in using iambic meter, if you find yourself always wanting to bend it in a whole bunch of non-iambic ways.
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