Well...this was a good example. Although there are some things I admire about it, I don't personally like the poem very much. I assume that my admiration is more the objective part of my judgment, and that the lack of sympathy is more a matter of my personal taste. I have no reason to launch a fault-finding mission, or build a case against it. On the contrary, I'd prefer to perceive the genuine virtues I can detect here.
Most important, it is an ambitious poem. An ambitious failure is a better use of my time than a trifling success, and this poem's hardly a failure.
My reservations go mostly to the quality that, chances are, you (Curtis) find attractive-- the dissonance and cacophony of the rhythms. I'm sure every approach has a legitimate employment, but I'm not much fond of that "metaphysical" tonality anywhere, and I can't see how it's apropos here...but then I'm biased.
I'm still puzzled. Why did you choose an example you yourself won't whole-heartedly endorse? Is your notion of successful poetry so restrictive?
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