Santa, we need to talk about security
Santa, we need to talk about security
How safe are the presents stacked upon your shelves?
Are your workers’ hearts consumed by purity?
In short, dear Santa, do you trust your elves?
I’m sure you mind the letter that I sent to you,
specifically requesting a new drone.
I’m not the sort of chap that would give vent to you
but like the frosty wind, I may well moan.
I’m pretty sure I wasn’t on the naughty list.
I’ve spent the last twelve months just being nice.
Will you check again your over-forty list?
Control and F should easily suffice.
I’m sure you wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
Remember last year’s business with the Merc?
Can you be sure some elves aren’t on the take again?
Did you check their references of work?
Elves are widely known to be quite devious.
They’re not averse to some light-fingered crime.
By nature, they are greedy and mischiev-i-ous
and many of them end up doing time.
Pointing fingers never was a trait of mine,
but you, the wife, the reindeer or the elves?
Besides, the little sods once skimmed a mate of mine.
They really can blame no-one but themselves.
I’m sure you wish that you were only dreaming it
To someone like yourself, it is abhorrent.
But one or more are very likely creaming it.
I’m sure it’s not too hard to get a warrant.
Surveillance, using up to date technology,
would help your crumbling business to survive.
I’d help you but, by way of an apology,
my drone, as you well know, did not arrive.
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