Thank you for your feedback. One of the interesting things about a couplet is that it's so easy to tinker with.
John: I take your point here. It is in the spirit to keep a name.
Thanks Aaron for chiming in. I appreciate the logic behind your point.
Julie: Thanks for the thoughts. There is a way a Spanish name makes it work in a new way. But...I don't love the way the hexameter sounds.
Roger: I did indeed have niche in an earlier draft (hence "that" rather than "your"). It might be more in the sentiment, but it does lose some of the imagery and comic punch--I'm always happier with the spirit of the meaning working.
I also appreciate seeing the logic behind your thought. I will say, though, that Davus was a lower-class name (and, oddly, one that appears as a slave name in two textbooks), so the vocative is "Dave." I'm sure that doesn't fix it for you, but I will consider a name that fits the meter and feels simultaneously roman and contemporary, though I'm a bit less concerned with the presumption of taking liberties.