wow, that's commendable. writing for mental exercise is a great
thing to do. and i certainly mean no offence in relation to inversion.
i was only kinda joking about Yoda....; in point of fact some inversions
do work, others don't. to be totally serious though, as a poetic
device it's just not something i'd use in a fist line as it has a strange
pungency that sends a particular signal to the reader.
and i also agree about fads and literary fashion. like yourself i
suspect, i am very interested in the poem as a kind of organic
machine, as well as therapy, designed to work in the best way it
can. what makes a good line is something i think about all the
time, even when i'm asleep.
(and the poem is better than decent btw).