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Unread 07-18-2001, 04:16 PM
Tony Tony is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Queens, NY , USA
Posts: 544
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Whirled Atlas

Cowabunga, dudettes! Never call me a pissant.
(Twerp, maybe: blame it on the foibles of Phys. Ed.)
Mint another Quasimodo pontifex for Mordecai—
Rowe v. Wade stands; the Court overturned our van.

Coo Verlaine or Mallarmé into a pretzeled hell;
sink e-mail spammers into bubbling pits.
Burgle the baubles of cut-rate crudité:
Ronald McDonald its varicose kingfish—
kill some spleen cells, dessicate your liver.

Pool your parasols to watch that westside chica
go tweak the duende; haven’t seen her since
a natty, nappy-headed out-of-work aviator
ontologically challenged by Twin Peaks
(Killington and Everest—not!) reversed the Big Bang.

Cocker-spaniel Cerberus makes Pluto’s short list
on bulldozed ardor, squeaky carousel of loss.
Vague isthmuses estrange them—does he row?
She marimbas his ribcage in Montego Bay,
rutabagas pulped in her carpetbag.
Daddy’s still her chief henchman and garrotter:
damned obsessed he was, cleaving white from yolk.

Aha, Matilda yammered to the boss
tin-eared in the towers of technocracy,
addled cranium pummeled a la Jake LaMotta—
whazzup from the land of succotash.
Kentucky Derby’s loss, he says, goading Mr. Ed—
in Borough Park or some such place—into a canter.

Bury all ear candy in the urge to overdub;
Linzer torte crumbs strewn from here to Oz,
lo mein on canvas, noodle famine wrecked ya—
victimized with string cheese in an espresso bar.
Say, loan a vet the whiskers of Yosemite Sam?

Are candy hangovers fatal? For a modest fee
Nixon will be flogged in effigy, leaving Agnew
your kids, kit ‘n caboodle to an alley cat.
Man, do I dig watching Vega and Deneb wane.
Osiris guffaws, fluffed into a lurching waddle—
a horrifying penultimacy. Quota ravin’ nunca mas.

--Tony Hoffman
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