Hi Carl,
I'm with Susan. Since you are writing a ghazal, always a bad move, you should commit to the form and end every line with "going." You should also get your name in some form in the last stanza or whatever it has to be called in a ghazal.
I never let slide a chance to deride the use of this form in English, cementing my position in Palookaville. But, I have to say, you're on to a good topic for a ghazal here. I don't think it would be hard to rewrite your second lines to accommodate the strictures of the Great Ghazal.
Ooo.... also, no reason to actually telegraph the form in a parenthetical to the title.
Rick
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