Hi John,
I am in admiration of the images in this poem, but struggling to understand how they connect. The unscalable wall is particularly difficult for me. Is it tangible or metaphorical? Are the people standing on top of it, looking out "over the vast expanse," or is the wall itself the vast expanse? There are a lot of interesting things happening in this poem, but I don't understand what they mean, and some people are going to be more okay with that than others.
I love the bird imagery near the end. Rereading, it does bother me that the hawk has teeth (unless it's a mythical hawk), but I think "beak ravaged with blood" (or other gnarly bits like gristle, marrow, entrails, etc) would sound just as cool.
Thanks for sharing,
Ella
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