The octave is about there, I think. The second tercet is just going to be flawed, I'm afraid. That infernal (abime) image either requires a footnote or an explanation within the poem. I've chosen the latter, for the time being. Adam how do you serious translators cope with the frustration? I'm off to the gym to beat up a helpless leather bag.
Thanks so much to all, Adam, Chris (always diligent), and Don with his heraldry.
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