Thanks for your thoughts! Clearly I've run over "the that" a few dozen times and my brain has not noticed. Fixed it. (Jake, is that what you were talking about?)
The idea behind it is that everything will be cold dark nothingness, and I'm using "ice" as a metonym for that inevitability.
It's possible you're right on the IP. I think my hesitation is that last line that I can't get into a satisfying non-hex. But if it is distracting, I'm going to re-evaluate.
I took your suggestion of the comma after boy.