Thread: Dante sonnet
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Old 05-29-2018, 12:03 AM
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Martin Rocek Martin Rocek is offline
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Andrew,
why are the last two lines in the future tense? I can see the construction becomes awkward in the present, but perhaps going back to the original (in the crib--I know no Italian) conditional would be better:

And Lapo’s Lucy and your Vanna now,
along of course with her whose beauty blows
away the thirty best, appear somehow;
and we discuss—guess what? (it starts with L).
And they would be delighted with us beaux,
and I believe that we'd be thrilled as well.

It is a much smaller change, and comes back to S1 nicely.

Thanks again for the read!
Martin
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