[Matt Q]

So, rather non-controversially, I went with this:

Wearily Emily
(albeit imaginary)
fends off advances from
verse-writing boors,

tells them they’re dwelling in
impossibility,
pushes them out of her
numerous doors.

but then I realised that close is open to being read as double entendre, rather than just a reference to her poem, so I tried again.

Wearily Emily
(albeit imaginary)
fends off advances from
undersexed bards,

bored as these fantasist
phalloventriloquists
pull at their pen nibs and
try to get hard.

but now the end is probably too much of a single entendre. Oh well.

(typo, "of" - > "off", thanks Ralph).