View Single Post
  #7  
Old 09-11-2018, 11:17 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
Posts: 7,635
Default

I have experimented with a different sestet that preserves the rhyme scheme of the original. Let me know, if you will, whether the change is for the better. I put the alternate ending after the current one.

Michael, I think for now I will stick with "hearken," but I would be glad to hear what others think of that choice.

Martin, though "one" would solve one problem, I would have to use it throughout for "man," and too many "ones" sounds like a stuffy butler is talking.

Susan
Reply With Quote