Thread: Naming names
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Unread 11-11-2017, 10:11 AM
Susan McLean Susan McLean is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Iowa City, IA, USA
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The men I was sexually harassed by in my youth are dead now, so to name them would not change their behavior and would feel like a rather petty revenge on my part. On the other hand, the current moment is an opportunity for women to let men know exactly how it feels to the women when men abuse their power and what it costs those men in the long run. I think that certain behaviors that some men think are just a naughty thrill are seen by the women as a violation of their personal space and right to choose, a denial of their own value as a person. It can forever change the attitude that the woman has toward the man, so that the way in which he will be remembered can go from admiration and respect to anger and repulsion. Women need older mentors and role models who can guide them in their growth toward whatever goals they have. In a world in which most people of achievement were men (the world I grew up in and that still exists, though to a lesser extent), women had no choice but to respect and look for guidance from men, which put them in a very tricky bind.

When I once approached a famous science fiction writer at a conference to tell him how much I admired his work, I was shocked when he grabbed me and forcefully kissed me on the mouth. Although I later saw him at other conferences, I never went near him again, and my opinion of him changed irreversibly. I could have learned something from him if he had talked to me instead of kissing me. A much worse situation occurred when I was taking a class from a well-known classicist/translator (I myself had goals of being a translator at the time). As he was lecturing, he wandered around the room and wound up standing behind me and resting his hands on my shoulders as he spoke to the whole class. I was intensely uncomfortable with this, but did not feel that I could speak up about it. However, if he could treat me that way in front of a class, I was never going to speak to him alone. He went from being a potential mentor to being someone I shunned, and instead of trying to become a translator then, I did not try translating again for another twenty years. He could have been someone I would remember fondly as a mentor; instead, he was a roadblock I had to go around.

Susan
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