Hi, Jim!
You say in your prose comments that you want the reader to feel cold. But what we see is always at some distance from us, even when we look at our own bodies. And what we see can sometimes be perceived through a window or electronic screen, so we do not have to be directly in contact with it. In contrast, what we feel is so close, it's touching us.
So I, like several other readers, don't understand why the title is inviting the reader to use only the sense of vision—especially if the grand finale is when the narrator contracts into self-awareness. Self-awareness is typically not a visual experience.
So I don't think your title sets you up for success here.
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