I think I like this, Matt, and it deserves better than my two superficial nits:
- If you’re concerned about inveterate misreaders like me, you’ll add quotation marks to L3 and L5. I had to work back from the first question mark to realize that “Daniel” is direct address and “whose” isn’t relative. I know it’s a perverse reading; it’s just what I do.
- Strictly speaking, “him” in L2 should be “he.” It’s a fussy point of grammar that nobody gives a hoot about anymore, and I’m only mentioning it because the poem’s language is so elevated.
Sorry, but I just can’t go deeper at my current level of mental alertness.
|