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  #21  
Unread 03-17-2007, 08:53 PM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
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But, David, they have to be nunsensical. And, personally, I think it's cheating if you simply take an old classic and insert a nun, or I'd drive you all nuts with stuff like:

A nun, after three weeks at sea,
complained that it hurt her to pee.
Said a brawny third mate,
"That accounts for the fate
of the cook and the Captain and me."

We must be original. So I'd vote for Roger's Agnes poem, which doesn't rely on a geographic location for a rhyme, contains a basically inane notion, is not as offensive as most of the others, and ends with a truly disgraceful pun, a pun so bad that it carries its own air of grandeur.
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  #22  
Unread 03-17-2007, 09:46 PM
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Frank Hubeny Frank Hubeny is offline
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"Now, children," the nun said, "be nice.
When it comes to hot sex, we are ice.
You could use us in hell
For a cooling off spell,
And in drinks, with a fresh lemon slice."
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  #23  
Unread 03-18-2007, 08:26 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is online now
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The Book Of Revelation

A priest who was dating a sister
was happy enough when he kissed her,
... but later, in bed,
... said, "Lord strike me dead!"
when he learned that the nun was a mister.



[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited March 20, 2007).]
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  #24  
Unread 03-18-2007, 12:53 PM
Toni Clark Toni Clark is offline
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Sister Sarah was full of ambition
and offered a bold proposition
to each infidel:
I can save you from hell
with the old missionary position.
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  #25  
Unread 03-18-2007, 12:56 PM
Toni Clark Toni Clark is offline
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There once was a world-weary nun
who said every trick has been done.
I can pull out a rabbit
from under my habit.
There's nothing new under the sun.

[This message has been edited by Toni Clark (edited March 18, 2007).]
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  #26  
Unread 03-19-2007, 07:09 AM
Marcia Karp Marcia Karp is offline
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Toni,

I wonder if John Milton's standby pun won't be appropriate in your final line: There's nothing new under the Son.

Marcia
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  #27  
Unread 03-19-2007, 07:58 AM
Toni Clark Toni Clark is offline
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Oh Marcia! That is tooo good! Of course! Thanks.

Toni
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  #28  
Unread 03-19-2007, 11:06 AM
Henry Quince Henry Quince is offline
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A senior nun from Algeria
remarked to her son, “You’re far wearier
from being on top —
so why don’t we swop
and fuck with the mother superior?”

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  #29  
Unread 03-19-2007, 02:58 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is online now
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A crazy old priest claimed he heard
God's voice when his pussycat purred.
..... The nuns made a bee-line
..... to speak with the feline,
but the cat would not utter a word.
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  #30  
Unread 03-19-2007, 07:23 PM
Michael Cantor Michael Cantor is offline
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Henry -

That's disgusting, and you should be ashamed of yourself!

Can't you see that the meter is off in L1? Try "middle-aged" or "sensual" or "fortyish" instead of "senior".
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