Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 05-01-2014, 12:37 AM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
Default Speccie scottish question by 14 May

I suppose we should all have seen this coming.


No. 2848: scottish question

We done something similar before but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to give William Topaz McGonagall a chance to comment on Scottish independence. You are invited to submit such a commentary in your best McGonagallese. Please email entries of up to 16 lines (wherever possible) to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 14 May.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 05-01-2014, 01:54 AM
basil ransome-davies's Avatar
basil ransome-davies basil ransome-davies is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: lancashire
Posts: 1,090
Default

McGonagall, FFS? I despair.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Unread 05-01-2014, 06:13 AM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 994
Default

This already been done recently in Private Eye.

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/eyeplayer.php?media=151

(if anyone's interested)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Unread 05-01-2014, 07:29 AM
Jerome Betts Jerome Betts is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Devon England
Posts: 1,708
Default

Thhere was a later Salmond-McGonagall offering in Private Eye in 2012 after the 2012 Olympics. A much-ploughed furrow.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Salmond Saga.jpg
Views:	1067
Size:	119.6 KB
ID:	779  
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Unread 05-01-2014, 09:00 AM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 994
Default

’Twas on the 18th day of September in the year 2014
That the good people of Scotland were invited to choose between
Remaining part of the United Kingdom or
Not being a part of it any more.

When it transpired that with the rest of Great Britain the Scotch wanted to remain
This gave the SNP leader Alex Salmond a terrible pain
In that organ of thought that doctors call the brain,
For he knew the opportunity would not come again.

‘Westminster is to blame for this,’ Mr Salmond angrily declared,
‘For they deliberately set out to make my countrymen feel scared.
I have been much angered by all their negative campaigning,
And that is the reason I am now complaining.

‘They said we might not be able to keep the pound or the BBC,
And that even continuing membership of the EU was not a guarantee.
If only the ‘No’ camp had had the decency to talk about such issues less
And a bit more about the sort of things that might have made folk vote ‘Yes’.’

Last edited by Rob Stuart; 05-01-2014 at 04:56 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Unread 05-01-2014, 11:55 AM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
Default

I hope you have that date right, Rob.


In the year 2014 on the 18th of September
All Scottish patriots should well remember
To make sure a plurality of their votes are Wee Eck's,
Without regard to age, colour, creed or sex.

We have a proud history. Let this be our solace
As we celebrate the doughty deeds of William Wallace,
And those of Bruce at Bannockburn still doughtier
Against a foe more prideful and far shoutier.

We mourn the flours o' the forest all withered at Flodden,
And Bonny Prince Charlie who fled from Culloden
With Flora MacDonald, as every schoolboy should know;
Will he no come back again? Alas he could no.

Nemo me impune lacessit. May these be our watchwords,
Meaning 'Hauns aff oor oil!' in good old Scotch words.
Let us grasp the sword of Scottish freedom tightly
That Scotland's star may shine in Europe ever more brightly.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Unread 05-01-2014, 12:46 PM
Jerome Betts Jerome Betts is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Devon England
Posts: 1,708
Default

Rob, typo warning 'oppotunity'. 'fell scared'. ? 'feel scared' , ? 'fall scared' ? 'full scared' or is this some Scoticism?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Unread 05-01-2014, 01:28 PM
Jerome Betts Jerome Betts is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Devon England
Posts: 1,708
Default

Oh, the September referendum of Salmond and Sturgeon
A fit subject to indite a warning dirge on
As they seek to sever England from Old Caledonia
In a national fever similar to that which comes with pneumonia.

Should the centuries long union indeed be sundered
Or have some guid folks quite egregiously blundered?
What benefits, we should ask, will come from division
And will the result be a state not of glory but mirth and derision?

Our noble realm contains many under populated islands
And there are more deer and sheep than people in the Highlands
And to stand alone in a world growing ever more risky
It surely needs more than past-its-peak oil laced with whisky.

Many experienced men of affairs have advised not to do it
And if their wisdom is not heeded all may very well rue it,
So I hope the land of Rangers, Celtic, tartan and heather
Will see the necessity of us all staying stuck fast together.

Last edited by Jerome Betts; 05-03-2014 at 10:13 AM. Reason: Repeated word
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Unread 05-01-2014, 02:47 PM
John Whitworth's Avatar
John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
Default

Interesting that so far everybody except me has written a 'No' piece. But I a sure McGonnagal would have been a 'Yes' man.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Unread 05-01-2014, 04:54 PM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 994
Default

Thank you Jerome, I have amended. Your rhymes, though. Aren't they too... well, good? And you John!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,399
Total Threads: 21,840
Total Posts: 270,803
There are 1861 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online