[John Riley]

Clarity On The Meaning Of Light

Everything is light and there is no escaping the light. Burning light overhead and radiant light all around. In the beginning, I walked in the light and longed for darkness but the price of darkness was more than I could ever afford. So expensive it is out of reach of most living things. We were told the endless light makes the machines work. Soon the sharp people, the talking people, began to market different types of light. "This is the mellow light. You can almost roll it around on your tongue and taste the wisdom,” they said. “It has the odor of oak with a hint of the lavender that once grew around our mothers' small houses." And we have the false dark hawkers. "Go on the journey of blindness! All the universe is yours when you're free from seeing what is around you. This is your only hope for darkness. We have masks made of the thickest velvet and knitted cotton. Although the light is indeed so bright the closed, masked eyes only provide a slightly duller glow through the eyelids. But we must be pleased with that!" The prices the sharp people set for the mellow light are so expensive only the wealthiest, those who have built windowless homes with thick carpets draping from the roof to the earth, can afford. Then the movement started. The movement I joined. We gather in tight circles, our heads bowed to share a hint of dimness. The closeness of our heads also allows us to communicate with no chance of the light deniers and light merchants reading our words. It is our goal, our determination, that everyone looks at the light and takes no refuge in denial or profit from acceptance. No ideas or formulas that will lead to a perfect understanding of why all is light and the darkness has been driven away. That is an abstraction from the truth! We must accept that light is everything and then we are free. The light is everywhere but does not control us. We are free to see the light without longing for darkness. But there is great resistance to our ideas from those who have developed philosophies and attempted to find meaning, paths, and gods in the light. Who says accepting the unseen power above is the only way to have peace. They say we are made one by mystery and refuse to see that mysteries are only arrangements that haven't been looked at closely enough. All mysteries fall apart under observation. There are no mysteries just as there is no darkness. We need no myths of confusion. We are the myths. This is clarity and only clarity will challenge the everlasting light.

[Matt Q]

Hi John,

I like it John. I wonder if it gets a little too caught up in the details: the light sellers, the false dark sellers -- if maybe you work the idea through too much? I don't know. That was my first thought anyway.

In light of which, I have a radical suggestion, which may well lose too much for you: You could try cutting "We were told the endless light makes the machines work ... windowless homes with thick carpets draping from the roof to the earth, can afford.". Which leaves this:

Everything is light and there is no escaping the light. Burning light overhead and radiant light all around. In the beginning, I walked in the light and longed for darkness but the price of darkness was more than I could ever afford. So expensive it is out of reach of most living things. Then the movement started. The movement I joined. We gather in tight circles, our heads bowed to share a hint of dimness. The closeness of our heads also allows us to communicate with no chance of the light deniers and light merchants reading our words. It is our goal, our determination, that everyone looks at the light and takes no refuge in denial or profit from acceptance. No ideas or formulas that will lead to a perfect understanding of why all is light and the darkness has been driven away. That is an abstraction from the truth! We must accept that light is everything and then we are free. The light is everywhere but does not control us. We are free to see the light without longing for darkness. But there is great resistance to our ideas from those who have developed philosophies and attempted to find meaning, paths, and gods in the light. Who says accepting the unseen power above is the only way to have peace. They say we are made one by mystery and refuse to see that mysteries are only arrangements that haven't been looked at closely enough. All mysteries fall apart under observation. There are no mysteries just as there is no darkness. We need no myths of confusion. We are the myths. This is clarity and only clarity will challenge the everlasting light.

Or maybe the above, but with ""We were told the endless light makes the machines work" retained.

Which seems to me to be tighter. The link between "In the beginning ... Then ..." becomes clearer. The focus also stays more on the N and his activities.

You do lose much (most) of the political allegory, the capitalists moving in to capitalise -- if political allegory is what was intended -- and this may well be important to what you want here. But I think I kind of like the shorter version more for that reason.

Don't know if that helps. Probably not!

Meanwhile a possible typo/grammar thing:

"But there is great resistance to our ideas from those who have developed philosophies and attempted to find meaning, paths, and gods in the light. Who says accepting the unseen power above is the only way to have peace."

Shouldn't that be "Who say" -- if the subject is "those who have developed philosophies"?

Also, here: "We must accept that light is everything and then we are free. The light is everywhere but does not control us." I wondered if the second sentence was somewhat redundant?

best,

Matt

[John Riley]

Thanks, Matt. You're right, of course. I didn't realize I'd slipped into politics but did as I followed how the conflicts developed in the situation. That can be interesting but in a different story. Thanks for the help. It's invaluable.