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Unread 07-07-2021, 07:24 AM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 15,890
Default Learicks -- improve on Lear

The "newly discovered Lear poems" thread reminded me of a contest the Washington Post once ran asking for limericks that start with two lines of a Lear limerick. I think the premise is that Lear started his limericks well but didn't finish them well, throwing away his L5 to basically repeat L1. Here are a few that I wrote for that contest. They're sort of fun to write, so I thought maybe some of you would like to give it a whirl.

There was an Old Person of Chili
Whose conduct was painful and silly;
For dinner she’d dine
On a baked porcupine,
Though it left her esophagus quilly.


There was a Young Lady whose nose
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
When Pinnochio walked by,
He said, "What's the lie
I must tell if I want one of those?"


There was a Young Girl of Majorca
Whose aunt was a very fast walker;
But the girl would insist
They instead dance the twist,
For the girl was a very fast torquer.


There was an Old Person of Cadiz
Who was always polite to the ladies,
And although he was old,
His conquests, all told,
Numerically topped Warren Beatty’s.


There was an Old Person of Rheims,
Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
But his wife said, "I'm glad!
I’m aware that sounds bad,
But his snores are far worse than his screams."


There was a Young Lady of Norway,
Who casually sat on a doorway;
When three men mistook her
For a common street hooker,
They asked, “What’s the price of a four-way?”


And for many other examples by others, here are the limericks/learicks that the Washington Post chose to publish. (Some of you may be stopped by the paywall).

Last edited by Roger Slater; 07-07-2021 at 07:47 AM.
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