[basil ransome-davies]

good one, Roger. Mammaries are made of this.

[FOsen]

Raj - you've nailed it.

Frank

[Roger Slater]

Thanks! I've sent it off.

I wrote the first stanza 6 1/2 years ago when my son was still nursing, but the rest of the poem was written to order for Lucy.

[Lance Levens]

In Vino Insanitas

(I want a deep fried Mars Bar)

I once drank a bottle of Jack in the Black,
went down to the beach with my head on the wrack.

I cursed and sputtered and spat at the hordes
(They were dressed like preppies with credit card swords).

In the fight I reclaimed the girl who just dumped me
and passed a math quiz that just recently stumped me

In a month I was deaf, in a year I was blind.
In another whatever I had labelled my mind

was still on the beach with the booze and the fray
and doing damn well for a bodiless fey.

So don't get morose when she gives you a dose
of come uppance in kind. Get comatose!

[John Whitworth]

That is a fine poem, Lance. Not for Lucy but a fine poem, which is better.

[basil ransome-davies]

Rip Torn pulled a suspended sentence (though the drug & alcohol tests are going to be hell). Downer: I cain't hardly get started with this damn comp. Hell, I jes' know the whole point is that it's a paradox, but I'm spinnin' mah wheels here.

One other thing: doesn't Lance Levens mean 'hordes' rather than 'hoards'?

[Catherine Tufariello]

I heard a rumor that an iconic American soft drink was crossing the pond. Here's hoping it's true. This is to be sung to the tune of the Mountain Dew Song (you can listen to Willie Nelson sing it here).

I used to swig beer to ring in the New Year,
Now I croon auld lang syne with a brew
That makes me more frisky than Tennessee whisky—
All I drink is that sweet old Mountain Dew.

Some naysayers cry that the bright yellow dye
Will lower your sperm count to two,
And shrivel your sack, and turn your teeth black;
All slanders on sweet old Mountain Dew.

When I’m on my deathbed, pump my veins with Code Red—
Don’t bother calling Code Blue.
My worn-out old heart will fire up with a start
At a sip of that sweet old Mountain Dew.

So let us give thanks for that drink of the Yanks,
Full of caffeine and sugar and goo
You can’t even pronounce, in each fizzy ounce—
Three cheers for that sweet old Mountain Dew!

[basil ransome-davies]

and thanks for the song link. Classic stuff. Pity there's no video with it.

[Catherine Tufariello]

Bazza, here is a video of Willie Nelson singing it with Ray Charles. Sorry about the commercial at the beginning.

[basil ransome-davies]

A great duo!