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  #11  
Old 09-23-2018, 02:26 PM
David Callin David Callin is offline
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I like it. I would be tempted to call it "Help Wanted", and not only because it reminds me of one my favourite Little Feat tunes, which is really not a good enough reason by itself.

Glad to hear there will be a new collection.

Cheers

David
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  #12  
Old 09-23-2018, 02:30 PM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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James - help me out here. I'm struggling to see how to use "spirit" without "away" in this context but I'm trying. However, I am really worried about Miyazaki. I had never heard of him and have looked him up but am none the wiser about his relationship to that line. Have I plagiarised something? I swear I haven't done it on purpose.

(Orwn and Allen, I'm still thinking about gathering. I'll be back...)


Editing in: Aaagh! I'm now off to Google Little Feat. My ignorance is beginning to scare me - and I'm only half in jest here.
.

Last edited by Ann Drysdale; 09-23-2018 at 02:36 PM. Reason: just seen David's post!
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  #13  
Old 09-23-2018, 02:42 PM
David Callin David Callin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Drysdale View Post
Editing in: Aaagh! I'm now off to Google Little Feat. My ignorance is beginning to scare me - and I'm only half in jest here.
[color="White"].
No need for that. Just me going pointlessly off-piste again. Apologies. (It's Long Distance Love, if you're really looking. Great song.)
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  #14  
Old 09-23-2018, 02:58 PM
James Brancheau James Brancheau is offline
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It's iconic in Asia, and it's hard for me to believe you couldn't Google spirit away. It is Spirited Away, but any variation and it comes up. It hasn't hit your neighborhood yet, but it was for me an unavoidable association.
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  #15  
Old 09-23-2018, 04:52 PM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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Sorry, James, I didn't quite get what you were saying. I just thought I did. I didn't look up "spirit away", I looked up Miyazaki and didn't get the connection because I was looking for a link to the following line so I was none the wiser. I am now, but I see it's actually been dubbed and retitled by Disney. I truly had no idea.

I looked at your picture and Googled the phrase and got the film and watched a bit. I found it utterly terrifying. The whole Manga thing scares me witless and the peculiar Disney shouty-outy soundtrack stopped my heart. The thought that anything I wrote might evoke it is seriously troubling. Thank you for alerting me to the possibility.
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  #16  
Old 09-23-2018, 07:13 PM
Matt Q Matt Q is offline
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Hi Annie,

I like where this takes me and how it gets there.

Like Mark, I had a bit of difficulty with S5. The unleavened caring seems like it's being thrown/released by the N rather than at her. Perhaps it's aimed at the assistant? The N will occasionally express compassion/affection for the assistant, but the assistant would have be ready and quick to catch it? Or alternatively, as Mark says, it's a "giving a shit" kind of caring. Occasionally the N will care about something (her work?) and that needs holding onto (even though, being unleavened, it'll never rise). But does the N get to choose the moments when this happens? That's not how it happens for me, unfortunately.

"gathering" might not be the best word -- though I'm happy with image of slurry gathering (I'm thinking slime mould colonies) -- but "rising tide" seems like a bit of a stock phrase/easy reach for what's going on here.

Matt

Last edited by Matt Q; 09-23-2018 at 07:36 PM.
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  #17  
Old 09-23-2018, 08:03 PM
James Brancheau James Brancheau is offline
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Just my reaction, Ann. Probably doesn't matter. It is a really good movie though. Don't be terrified by it. Just a couple days ago I walked by a woman with a No Face t-shirt. From a distance I just assumed she was a kid. With the t and all. But she was older like me. Which does make sense~ a generational marker I guess. Anyway, it just really stood out to me here, but I'm sure it won't for others. (In any case, watch the movie!)

Last edited by James Brancheau; 09-24-2018 at 01:39 AM. Reason: Best to leave interpretation up to the viewer
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  #18  
Old 09-24-2018, 04:59 AM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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Thanks, James. After a lot of self-questioning, I will leave “spirit away” where it is; it says what I mean, it isn’t exactly the same as the name of the film and the only unease remaining in my mind is the thought that, Disney having reached for it as a title, it could be a bit of a cliché. I’m sorry my reaction was so extreme. It is undoubtedly a generation thing to some extent. I will have to explore this visceral antipathy to Disney/Anime, the shudder on suddenly being confronted by “Hello Kitty” in a thrift shop, turning her over so I don’t have to look. A poem will be the way to go, eventually. However, I already have a self-examination project on the stocks. I was recently confronted by a challenge to my undeniable hypocrisy in blindly refusing to set my non-vegetarian lifestyle alongside my stance against killing for sport. It is work in progress and I only mention it because the working title is “Night of the Hunter”. To each their own, movie-wise, eh, James? Thank you for making me think.

Out of one cliché into another. Thanks, Matt. Yes, “rising tide” is too easy. If I ditch it, then my assistant can “rise” at my command and do – what? The idea I am trying to express there is that of interception. It will reach out and catch that great dollop of other people’s shit, unleavened by … anything that might lighten it (humour, perhaps) that too often hits me amidships when I’m trying to do… whatever.

This poem was written at a very low point and I was trying to express that killing apathy that whimpers “I can’t, I can’t. You do it.” without going all Grand Guignol.

I have seen a slurry tank overflow. It actually rises above the rim for a moment, a sort of accumulated crust, riding on the meniscus of the surface tension and then, from below that, comes the dribble of liquid, gleeful and unstoppable. I was hoping to catch this moment, the edge of impending doom. I am aware of how many advocates for the restoration of “gathering” are – er – gathering. In the words of Housman, “I hear you. I will come”.
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  #19  
Old 09-24-2018, 05:10 AM
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Jan Iwaszkiewicz Jan Iwaszkiewicz is offline
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Now I understand 'slurry'.

'gather' as one does with material? That I can see, almost a pleating of the surface.
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  #20  
Old 09-24-2018, 10:32 AM
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Ann Drysdale Ann Drysdale is offline
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...and another revision posted.
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