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03-15-2007, 12:02 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,493
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Annunciation
Seduced by the light of the moon,
a sister of God one fine June
had sex with a priest
who, when he released,
said “Oops, that occurred, nun, too soon!”
[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited March 15, 2007).]
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03-15-2007, 06:12 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Fairfield, Ohio
Posts: 5,509
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An insatiable nun from Monroe
was caught on her new sister, Flo,
by a horny young priest
who gave grace for the feast:
“Now that’s what I call eating crow!”
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03-15-2007, 07:07 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 3,745
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I can't get over how bad these are. P. U.! Even yours, Bob, and I thought we could count on you.
Here's one by an anonymous author:
There was a young man named MacNair
Who buggered his wife on the stair.
The bannister broke--
Without missing a stroke,
He finished her off in mid-air.
It's not about nuns, but it's a good limerick. It scans, it rhymes, and it's FUNNY. Now come on, people. Let's try to do better!
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03-15-2007, 07:42 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Plum Island, MA; Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 11,175
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A Senator touring Verdun
took an abbess for dinner - and fun -
he thought it went fine
till she drank all the wine -
there was none of the Blue Nun for Nunn.
As the sister's obeisance was done,
a priest tried to fondle her bum:
said she with a grin,
as she fractured his chin,
"Don't you mess with Attila the Nun!"
[This message has been edited by Michael Cantor (edited March 24, 2007).]
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03-16-2007, 08:31 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,493
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Rose, just change "his wife" to "a nun" and you win the prize.
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03-16-2007, 08:39 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,493
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God's Tavern
The wet-tee-shirt contest was won
by Agnes, who proved so much fun
her wet habit jiggled
and all the men giggled
when she cried, "I'm the finest bar nun!"
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03-16-2007, 10:23 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Sioux City, IA
Posts: 905
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The priest was hard up for some fun,
but the sisters were cold, every one,
. . .so he had to make do
. . .with hot bread. Wouldn't you
if half a loaf's better than nun?
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03-16-2007, 07:30 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Queensland, (was Sydney) Australia
Posts: 15,574
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I'm unable to jeer at a nun.
My old music teacher was fun.
When the old Derry Air
made her leap from her chair
her bare bottom completed the pun.
[This message has been edited by Janet Kenny (edited March 16, 2007).]
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03-17-2007, 02:16 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 3,745
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A Dominican sister I know
was suspected of being a ho.
She'd sit and crochet
a new blanket each day
and she charged forty dollars a throw.
I know, I know, I'm trying.
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03-17-2007, 02:30 PM
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Distinguished Guest Host
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Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Stoke Poges, Bucks, UK
Posts: 5,081
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There was a young man named MacNair
Who buggered his wife on the stair.
The bannister broke--
Without missing a stroke,
He finished her off in mid-air.
--My favourite so far.
Does anybody know that summary of Hopkins's 'Wreck of the Deutschland' in limericks? It's the best nun limerick I know, and google has failed to find it.
Best,
David
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