[FOsen]

What is he doing with L4? Did the flood sweep away the "Its" that should begin the line? I stumbled in mid-flood there, when I should have been racing along (I like breathless enjambment sometimes). To me this was a metrical stumbling block. The iamb needs a head to help me make the leap. I like the sonnet well enough but for that.

Frank



[This message has been edited by FOsen (edited May 03, 2003).]

[MacArthur]

If I might join the discussion late...I'm on Tom's side, although he prides himself too much on his micro-analysis. The redundencies and other slack he slights so much wouldn't trouble a better poem.

Apply the same criteria to Frost's "Acquainted with the night" and you could have found more damning evidence in any four lines!...but Frost's sonnet can carry the weight.

Because you care-- and in fact, the "slack" modulates the tension.

But in this example...no one could imaginably care enough about the ostensible subject, to tolerate this much slack.