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03-06-2014, 07:39 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,476
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My kale adores your amaranth;
my beets revere your beans;
my squash prefers your ginger root
but flirts with collard greens.
The passion of radicchio
is such you'd never guess
for it would give its very life
for love of watercress.
And in the cellar, near the wine,
although they lack the lips,
potatoes find a way to kiss
that fills the world with chips.
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03-06-2014, 09:54 AM
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Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Kilkenny, Kilkenny, Ireland
Posts: 4,949
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My Swede to Love
Once, I had a swede to love,
they lettuce hold hands by a cabbage heart,
"Yam", I said, when asked was I in love,
but Basil's jealous rage drove us apart.
It was a turnip for the books
when Holly hocked that nut Meg in a barrow,
and prim Rose there with thyme worn looks
helped her pump kin for their marrow.
But snow drops cold, a car rots love,
a has bean stalks me in the dark,
I got no peas until I strove
daily to ban Anna from the park.
But now I shout it from the highest dill,
and even from the golden wonder drill;
my broccoli has gone to pot,
and sprouts no more because I lost the plot.
Last edited by Jim Hayes; 03-07-2014 at 10:40 AM.
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03-06-2014, 10:06 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: London
Posts: 994
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Jim's reminds me of Benny Hill's 'Garden of Love', which I always had a soft spot for:
(Chorus) The sun and the rain fell from up above
And landed on the earth below
In my garden of love
Now there’s a rose for the way my spirits rose when we met
A forget-me-not to remind me to remember not to forget
A pine tree for the way I pined over you
And an ash for the day I ashed you to be true
(Chorus) And the sun….
Now there’s a palm tree that we planted when we had our first date
A turnip for the way you always used to turnip late
Your mother and your cousin, Chris, they often used to come
So, in their honour, I have raised a nice chris-an’-the-mum
(Chorus) And the sun….
Now there’s a beetroot for the day you said that you’d beetroot to me
A sweet pea for the sweet way you always smiled at me
But you had friends who needed you
There was Ferdy, there was Liza
So, just for them, I put down a load of ferdy-liza
(Chorus) And the sun….
But Gus the gardener’s left now and you went with him, too
The fungus there reminds me of the fun Gus is having with you
Now the rockery’s a mockery, with weeds it’s overgrown
The fuchsia’s gone, I couldn’t face the fuchsia all alone
And my tears fell like raindrops from the sky above
And poisoned all the flowers in my garden of love
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03-06-2014, 11:39 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,391
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I think Benny Hill should get the dictionary!
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03-06-2014, 08:34 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Fife
Posts: 729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Allgar
..Of course, stanzas 4 and 5 will have to be cut, and I may have to try and get a bit more love into the thing
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Brian, why not instead cut S2 and 6?
S2 is a list, whereas other verses hold the witty wordplay (which impresses me).
Dropping 6 leaves the ending upbeat, with Carrot's love having accomplished its goal;
maybe the last line would be rejigged to emphasize that?
A tweak of 'was full' to 'grew full' (in S3-becoming-S2 L1) may be needed too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Allgar
Asparagus and Broccoli detested one another,
Which made young Carrot rather sad; he loved them like a brother.
Hoping to reconcile the pair, he organized a party,
Inviting vegetable friends, and leafy litterati.
The house grew full to bursting point, no room for any more;
Though guests continued to arrive, they couldn’t pass the door.
The U- to Y-’s were turned away, resentful and upset,
But sly Zucchini crashed the gate by posing as Courgette.
The younger sprouts were full of beans, and though the crowd was dense,
They blithely started playing squash, which gingered up events.
The music was provided by a band called “Sugar Beat”
Till someone let a rocket off, which knocked them off their feet.
“These kids have so much energy!” said Salsify to Spinach.
The revelry was clearly heard from Golders Green to Greenwich.
What rooty-tooty goings-on! What salad days! What capers!
The guests could hardly wait to read tomorrow’s morning papers.
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Last edited by Graham King; 03-06-2014 at 08:41 PM.
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03-06-2014, 08:44 PM
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Member
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Fife
Posts: 729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brian Allgar
I think Benny Hill should get the dictionary!
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Seconded! If he wrote it himself, or whoever did, it's a work of brilliance.
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03-07-2014, 02:32 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,391
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Graham, your idea for shortening my piece is an interesting alternative, although without 'D' to 'T' in the second stanza, "The U- to Y-’s were turned away" rather loses its point. And I think I prefer the gruesome ending. On the other hand, I agree that keeping the puns would be a Good Thing, so I'll continue to mull it over - there's still plenty of time ...
Later: Having duly mulled, I've decided to ditch the whole alphabetic element, though I'm sorry to lose Zucchini. I've also changed the last line.
Asparagus and Broccoli detested one another,
Which made young Carrot rather sad; he loved them like a brother.
Hoping to reconcile the pair, he organized a party,
Inviting vegetable friends, and leafy litterati.
The younger sprouts were full of beans, and though the crowd was dense,
They blithely started playing squash, which gingered up events.
The music was provided by a band called “Sugar Beat”
Till someone let a rocket off, which knocked them off their feet.
“These kids have so much energy!” said Salsify to Spinach.
The revelry was clearly heard from Golders Green to Greenwich.
What rooty-tooty goings-on! What salad days! What capers!
The guests could hardly wait to read tomorrow’s morning papers.
The party was a great success, the happy throng enraptured -
Until a giant hand appeared, and all of them were captured.
They lay upon the chopping board, a fearful, tearful group;
The owner of the house just loved xher vegetable soup.
Last edited by Brian Allgar; 03-19-2014 at 03:22 AM.
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03-07-2014, 03:40 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Devon England
Posts: 1,708
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John, harking back to your #4, Erasmus Darwin was the grandfather of the Origin of Species Darwin, not the father.
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03-07-2014, 04:50 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Kilkenny, Kilkenny, Ireland
Posts: 4,949
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I think it's excellent Brian, good suggestion as per Graham to truncate it slightly.
Personally I'm not gone on giant and houses's owners is a bit clunky,
You could contemporize somewhat if such suited your purpose;
Nigella Lawson simply making vegetable soup or some variation thereof and perhaps 'a pair of hands appeared'
Jim
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03-07-2014, 05:19 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 5,391
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Thanks, Jim. I'm happy with 'giant hand', but I agree that 'house's owners' is clunky. I'd thought of 'The owners of the house just loved their vegetable soup', but that also felt clunky. I'm still mulling.
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