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  #21  
Unread 08-09-2010, 08:08 AM
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Default The Day of Doom

I was dressed demurely in a pleated skirt and polo-neck jumper, with my grandmother’s pearls and her marcasite watch. I own only ‘insensible’ ones, but the charity shop had yielded a pair of navy court shoes. Perfect.

My friends chipped in with advice: no cleavage, minimum make-up, keep schtum about the piercing. (It had almost healed anyway, and if I sat still it didn’t hurt too much.)

The IN and OUT driveway unnerved me. He swerved onto the gravel, insisting that I “Chill, for God’s sake! - and why are you wearing a coat all buttoned up on a warm day like this, anyway?”

Afternoon tea was the ordeal I’d anticipated, and on my way to the bathroom before we left I overheard his mother on the phone in the kitchen, “...Oh no, ... over my dead body... she’s a right frump!”
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  #22  
Unread 08-09-2010, 08:25 AM
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Default between-the-lines

I like that for its narrative style, elliptically packed with nuanced implications for the reader to decode (social class, identity problems, mating behaviour, blokes, mothers, etc.). Not sure about 'insensible': tongue-in-cheek, or an index of her restricted vocabulary in that she genuinely thinks it's the opposite of 'sensible' meaning plain, no-nonsense, etc?
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  #23  
Unread 08-09-2010, 05:53 PM
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Thanks for taking the time to comment, Bazza; praise from you, The Master, is gratifying indeed!

I intended your latter suggestion for the use of 'insensible'. Do you think it doesn't work?
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  #24  
Unread 08-09-2010, 09:46 PM
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Default mismatch

No, I don't think it doesn't work. I mean it is more in keeping with her, um, cultural profile than wordplay would be.
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  #25  
Unread 08-10-2010, 11:03 AM
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Actually, I now prefer to think that she's not so dim. She did write it in inverted commas, after all! I quite like the ambiguity of 'insensible'.
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  #26  
Unread 08-10-2010, 01:40 PM
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Burt sat on the porch and rocked, gazing out at the ocean, sparkling blue in the early morning sunlight. He heard the newscaster: “At a press conference, the President had this to say about what scientists have called the worst crisis ever facing the planet. ‘We need to refudiate those tree-huggers, ya know,' came her perky voice, 'with their pesky doomsday scare tactics. Besides, we’ve got the situation under control, youbetcha!’ ” The newscaster again: “Meanwhile, it looks like another scorcher, with temperatures already pushing 100 in downtown Kansas City.” Burt switched off the radio. He sat on the porch and rocked, watching the tide come in.
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  #27  
Unread 08-10-2010, 01:55 PM
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Default why this is hell

Hilarious, & right on the dime, Marion. Splendid dying fall to conclude, New Yorker-style. Moonbats watch out.
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  #28  
Unread 08-11-2010, 09:15 AM
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Thanks, Bazza! I don't usually write as dark as that. But hey--these are dark times, aren't they?
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  #29  
Unread 08-11-2010, 10:03 AM
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Default noir

None darker in my memory, & I lived through WW2 as a child. Perhaps that's why I have a pronounced taste taste for the dark side.
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  #30  
Unread 08-11-2010, 11:57 PM
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Controversy surrounds next Wednesday’s “Day of Doom,” whose mercurial promoter, “The Impressario formerly known as G-d,” refuses to disclose the site of what He bills variously, as a “transcendental rave” and a “global convergence.” Speaking through Burning Bush Productions, Ltd., He assured authorities “mass transport won’t be a problem,” while vowing the event will be larger than Glastonbury and will feature attractions such as those at Nevada’s Burning Man festival, “Oh, countless burning men, actually.” Officials, who are adamant that no permits will be issued for any such future event, were gratified when the promoter assured them no further festivities would be necessary.
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Last edited by FOsen; 08-12-2010 at 12:29 AM.
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