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Old 12-07-2018, 03:37 PM
Jan Iwaszkiewicz's Avatar
Jan Iwaszkiewicz Jan Iwaszkiewicz is offline
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Sorry you found it flat Jason and devoid of meaning. I wish I could write for all readers but obviously cannot. Thanks for dropping in.

regards,

Jan
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Old 12-07-2018, 11:14 PM
annie nance annie nance is offline
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I kinda liked it. I did not find it that inaccessible, and altough unfamiliar with many of the references Jan gave, I got that it was lamenting the impact man has made on the earth. What I took away was that humans come up with the idea of gods out of need, but then are reluctant to submit to the power to the very gods they create. In fact, humans are all over this thing for me. The tree can't cry because trees literally can't cry. They can't talk, walk away, complain, or fix anything. They are trees, and are subject to whatever we humans do to them. The rivers are "sane" when they are tamed, or made functional for humans. The straw men are men of of little substance, although they put on a good show of being important. That's my take anyway. I look forward to reading it through several more times for a deeper look s well.

I do agree that the last two lines you've written are a little preachy, but I think you do need something there. The green branches waving like an ocean is a pretty line, and a pretty image, so much so that it almost makes the straw men seem like good guys. So you do need something additional to clarify that the green waving branches are actually are a poor substitute for an actual ocean. Anyhow, for the most part, the poem works for me.

Annie

Last edited by annie nance; 12-07-2018 at 11:18 PM.
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