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  #21  
Old 12-06-2017, 11:33 AM
Allen Tice Allen Tice is online now
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I don't recall if you changed to this word from something else, but the specificity of "city" water seems, um, somehow, forgive me, insincere. One could say it poisons the entire thing, and might lead suburban readers to atheism or worse.
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  #22  
Old 12-07-2017, 12:36 AM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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Allen, I have been drinking city water all my life and am not dead yet.
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  #23  
Old 12-07-2017, 07:34 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is online now
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Sam: "I have been drinking city water all my life and am not dead yet."

Right there.

Why not use this as an epigraph and attribute it to the avocado pit?
It seems to embody the same quality of hope you evoke as the poem comes to a close.
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  #24  
Old 12-07-2017, 10:16 AM
Allen Tice Allen Tice is online now
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Sam, I think we all are glad you are flourishing. "City" water may have rhythms that could make it seem altogether indispensable. Even so, there are plenty of low-octane alternatives like "faucet," "simple," or "daily."
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  #25  
Old 12-07-2017, 12:13 PM
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R. S. Gwynn R. S. Gwynn is offline
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Allen, in the South we call what comes out of the faucet "city water" even if we live in a town--unless it's "hose water." Other kinds of water are well water and spring water. We didn't have bottles for any of that stuff when I was growing up. The stuff that came in bottles was co-cola or pop. If it came in a plastic bleach bottle it was probably illegal. Occasionally one read in the paper about somebody getting busted for illegal possession of too many white plastic bleach bottles. I'm not kidding.
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  #26  
Old 12-07-2017, 12:59 PM
Allen Tice Allen Tice is online now
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I'm sure you're not. It's of a piece with my encounters, though I never spent extended time farther in there than urban South Carolina; my week or two at Baylor and outside Athens, Texas, didn't memorably raise the issue. I guess I hosed my lawn with Carolina city water. In Brooklyn, people still often talk of "going into the city" when they shop in Manhattan; Istanbul gets its name from being "the city; investment area London is "the city." But I digress.
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  #27  
Old 12-13-2017, 07:43 PM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is online now
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I apologize for crashing in again with little substance to offer... But thought you would get a kick out of this:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/pitless-av...194457606.html

Turns out your pits poem is headed for obsolescence. The future is pitiless.
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  #28  
Old 12-14-2017, 12:44 AM
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This is truly the pits, Jim.
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  #29  
Old 12-14-2017, 01:33 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is online now
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Hi Sam,

I'd separate the ending into two tercets.
This is elegant, and thoughtful, but I've waited this long to comment because I have trouble convincing myself that avocado pits can carry the weight you place in that vessel. I'm still hesitant.

Cheers,
John
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