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08-26-2010, 01:34 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
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Speccie: In Two Minds
Bazza won the fiver as we all knew he would. Bill Greenwell and Marion Shore both took away prizes and I nearly did. Curses (personally) and congratulations (to our three splendid winners).
The new competition will do well I think.
No. 2664: In two minds
You are invited to submit a dialogue, in verse or prose (150 words/16 lines maximum), between two parts of yourself at odds with each other. Entries should be submitted, by email where possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 8 September.
By the way, Bazza, how did you know last night that Marion had won. Have you found a back door to the Speccie?
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08-26-2010, 04:54 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: lancashire
Posts: 1,092
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dark arts
Actually, John, I just googled 'Spectator competition 2661' before turning in. As Chief Dan George said, sometimes the magic works, sometimes it doesn't. Cyberspace is weird.
The new Speccie is meat & drink to us schizoids.
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08-26-2010, 01:11 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Breaux Bridge, LA, USA
Posts: 3,489
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What immediately comes to mind here is Villon's dialogue between the poet and his heart. Now, if I could only improve on that at half the length...
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08-26-2010, 07:32 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
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You know I'm not greatly taken with this. Too overworked somehow. But here it is to get the ball rolling. I think I'll try again.
Gob and Bum
‘I’m his forever. He’s all mouth,’
My gob roars out. But further south,
‘I always knew that he would come
To his true friend,’ confides my bum.
My mush says, ‘It is always wise
To take long bouts of exercise.’
‘Much better lounge in comfort here,’
Insists my large, persuasive rear.
My cakehole shrieks at fever pitch
‘Take to the streets and hang the rich.’
My bottom mutters covertly
‘Sit tight old chap, and let it be.’
‘Which of us represents this man?’
‘Can we be reconciled?’ ‘We can.’
‘It has already come to pass.’
‘He talks,’ ‘Ah yes,’ ‘Out of his arse.’
Villon yes. And Marvell of course. These guys are a bit too disconcertingly GOOD.
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08-26-2010, 08:35 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,339
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John, that's really funny.
(Slightly overworked? A skosh, perhaps.)
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08-27-2010, 01:43 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
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Why thank you, Orwn. Perhaps it's better than I thought. I composed it, as usual, in the swimming path, but hadn't taken on board that the thing was supposed to be a dialogue. So there had to be a lot of fixing and patching which rather pissed me off. (I believe the American for this is 'which rather pissed me'.)
I've done another one but I shall hold on to it at present.
Oh to Hell with it. No-one else is doing anything. Is it the weekend coming up?
Eyes and Ears
Behold my lady, fair and good,
The perfect flower of womanhood.
My admiration knows no bounds
Until she makes those vowel sounds.
She is a vision of such joy
She could command another Troy.
Her teeth and smiles may both be tops,
But have you heard her glottal stops?
And should you see her in her nightie,
She is a very Aphrodite…
Who takes the tongue that Shakespeare spoke
And warps it to a vulgar joke.
And in her naked skin so sweet
The angels crowd to kiss her feet.
Her mouth indeed is cherry-lipped,
But can she swear to keep it zipped?
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08-30-2010, 11:27 AM
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Distinguished Guest
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Belmont, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 2,976
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John,
They're both good! I've got my money on the first one! The last line alone is worth an extra fiver, IMNSHO.
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08-30-2010, 08:28 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 12,945
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Thanks Marion. I shall enter both. Just a little work on that last stanza. I went to see my daughter the painter who had done a canvas of people (she usually does animals) which was curiously threatening. She said she had noticed that and thought she would go back to animals because she didn't WANT to do art that was threatening or left the onlooker uneasy. I thought she isn't for the 21st century which supposes all art should threaten or make you feel bad. I agree with her and Dorothy Sayers however. I think art's primary purpose is to cheer people up. Otherwise, what's the good of it, in the long run? And if you ask whether Philip Larkin cheers you up, I say he does, or at least he cheers ME up.
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08-31-2010, 09:48 AM
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Distinguished Guest
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Belmont, Massachusetts USA
Posts: 2,976
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I totally sympathize with your daughter. I would take it one step further: I would like to go and live with animals. As far as art cheering you up, even if it's about sad stuff, it makes you feel better because you know you're not the only on. Misery loves company.
Last edited by Marion Shore; 08-31-2010 at 12:45 PM.
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08-31-2010, 10:01 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: lancashire
Posts: 1,092
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mexican standoff?
This is your superego calling,
Who finds your conduct quite appalling.
do da dirty do da sin
dump da pussy in da bin
To raise us from the primal swamp
We must curtail the instinct's romp.
why dont we do it in da road
up ya bum ya moral code
A sense of civic duty needs
To govern all our words and deeds.
when da neighbour make me sick
whack him with a great big stick
A man is not a mindless clam:
'I cogitate, therefore I am.'
you da boring fart dat reasons
me da id thing for all seasons
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