I’ve been back to read this a few times, and I wonder if you could cut back a bit, to increase rather than decrease the non-sequitur effect.
I’m thinking S2 might be expendable, as adding more linear narrative than the poem needs. Deleting that could also solve the potential strawberry pancakes dilemma with “surrealistic.”
So I was picturing:
Summer intern, doctoral thesis pending,
you arrive so wise at the scientific
magazine of cannabis entertainment,
Orchid rinds and boxes of Chinese flashcards
make their way to Stephanie’s corner office.
You demur. Coincidence rules the darkroom.
Over the transom,
graphic novels slip into burning pockets,
begging ontological metric readings.
Savage ink, a tear in the moral fabric
cues the finale.
On that fateful Monday in waning August,
Fibonacci Sequins by Stunning Numbers
hits the charts at numero uno, spilling
I do love love love that last stanza!