Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 01-11-2019, 01:33 PM
Stephen Hampton Stephen Hampton is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Jacksonville Florida USA
Posts: 302
Default Knowing Emily

revision 2:

Emily, a private poet. She wrote
Two thousand poems with her pen and paper
Wish I new the ones she kept in her mind
Ones shared with no one. less than a baker's
Dozen, in her living years, were published
Promptly butchered. Idiot editors
Thought they new better, what Emily's poems
------- should be.
Today, some critics say, they do know her
I wish I knew. Maybe no one ever
Never ever, will be half as clever
-----as my Emily.



revision 1:

Emily, a private poet. She wrote
Two thousand poems with her pen and paper
At least two hundred she kept in her mind
Shared them with no one. less than a baker's
Dozen, in her living years, were published
Promptly butchered. Idiot editors
Thought they new better, what Emily's poems
------- should be.
Today, some critics say, they do know her
I think I know, they will never ever
Never ever----will they be as clever.

Original:

Emily, a private poet who wrote
Two thousand poems with her pen and paper
At least two hundred she kept in her mind
Shared them with no one. less than a baker's
Dozen, in her living years, were published
Promptly butchered. Idiot editors
Thought they new better, what Emily's poems
should be.
Today, some critics say, they do know her
I know better, they will never ever
Never ever, will they be so cleaver.

Last edited by Stephen Hampton; 01-12-2019 at 12:05 PM. Reason: revison 1; revison 2
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 01-11-2019, 01:43 PM
Aaron Poochigian Aaron Poochigian is offline
Distinguished Guest
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 3,971
Default

Hello, Stephen, is your skepticism about "knowing" Emily Dickinson a general skepticism about knowing any other person? I will assume that it just pertains to the special Ms. Dickinson.

There are two groups you criticize in this poem: first, the "idiot editors" who "corrected" her poems. I share you opinion of them. Second, however, the critics today who think they "know" her. They presumably devote their scholarly lives to studying her poems, letters, etc. and then write books about her. Is that so wrong (presumptuous)? But you, you know better (than they do) what? That such endeavors are pointless? The "cleaver" for "clever" is clever indeed but you seem to be equating the editors who altered her poems with the scholars today who think they "know" her. I don't see the connection.

Also, I think you could revise the opening sentence to make it more effective rhetorically:

Emily, a private poet, though she wrote
Two thousand poems with her pen and paper,
Kept at least another two hundred in her mind,
Shared them with no one.

Best,

Aaron

Last edited by Aaron Poochigian; 01-11-2019 at 01:50 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 01-11-2019, 01:56 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 14,212
Default

She often shared poems with friends in her letters.

I don't understand what the poem is saying or suggesting. We all know who Emily Dickinson was. All you've added, apart from a couple of factual errors, is berating some undisclosed scholars and critics for undisclosed offenses, and the berating is so strong that there is an underlying suggestion that the speaker of the poem is a lot smarter and more sensitive than the idiots being berated.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 01-11-2019, 03:37 PM
James Brancheau James Brancheau is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: *
Posts: 1,460
Default

Never mind. Grading fatigue.

Last edited by James Brancheau; 01-12-2019 at 12:37 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 01-11-2019, 08:55 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 14,212
Default

Also, as a factual matter, it was not the case that Emily's poems were rejected by idiot editors who thought they knew better. Emily did not seek publication or give editors the opportunity to turn her down. The one editor who did see her poems (Higginson, I think) was immediately struck by their unique quality and pretty much recognized her as a genius, and after she died her poems were published and admired in very short order.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 01-11-2019, 10:45 PM
John Isbell John Isbell is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 3,444
Default

It is OTOH the case that The Beatles were turned down by Decca. Thus Wikipedia: "On 1 January 1962, before they reached international stardom, the Beatles auditioned for Decca Records at Decca Studios in West Hampstead, north London. In what is considered one of the biggest mistakes in music industry history, Decca rejected the band, selecting instead Brian Poole and the Tremeloes."

Cheers,
John
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 01-12-2019, 10:14 AM
Stephen Hampton Stephen Hampton is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Jacksonville Florida USA
Posts: 302
Default

Thanks Pooch,
I wrote a version of this, wasn't satisfied with it, and new I could get some good criticism here. Not knowing Emily is personal, it has always felt like a great loss in my life. The more I read her work, and what has been written about her, the more frustrated, sad, and alone I feel. Only reading E. A. Poe makes me feel worse. But, I could never love (or know in a biblical way) him, or any poet that I can think of.... except Emily. Sounds crazy, but I've felt this way for about 50 years. Maybe I'm just jealous of anyone who did, or does, know her. It does anger me that anyone would modify her words.

Considering your suggestion on opening line. Need to read more responses.
Sorry I've been absent for awhile.

Sincerely, S

P.S. Cleaver, vs clever...was an idiot AI correction I missed. However, need to think about that. I would challenge anyone who would cleaver my Emily.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 01-12-2019, 10:33 AM
Stephen Hampton Stephen Hampton is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Jacksonville Florida USA
Posts: 302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roger Slater View Post
Also, as a factual matter, it was not the case that Emily's poems were rejected by idiot editors who thought they knew better. Emily did not seek publication or give editors the opportunity to turn her down. The one editor who did see her poems (Higginson, I think) was immediately struck by their unique quality and pretty much recognized her as a genius, and after she died her poems were published and admired in very short order.
Yes Roger,
The butchery was in her lifetime, the dozen or so poems she submitted.

Could it be that is the reason she never again shared her heart and soul with "professional" publishers?


I wish I new.

Thanks for responding,

Sincerely,

s
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 01-12-2019, 10:37 AM
Stephen Hampton Stephen Hampton is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Jacksonville Florida USA
Posts: 302
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Isbell View Post
It is OTOH the case that The Beatles were turned down by Decca. Thus Wikipedia: "On 1 January 1962, before they reached international stardom, the Beatles auditioned for Decca Records at Decca Studios in West Hampstead, north London. In what is considered one of the biggest mistakes in music industry history, Decca rejected the band, selecting instead Brian Poole and the Tremeloes."

Cheers,
John
I Love The Beatles. BUT, not as I Love Emily.
Thanks John,
s
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 01-12-2019, 10:39 AM
Jim Moonan Jim Moonan is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,746
Default

Hi Stephen,
I agree with others this misses the mark as far as the accuracy of facts are concerned.

I would make some grammatical/format/emphasis adjustments to it as follows:

Emily, a private poet who wrote
Two thousand poems with her Pen and paper
At least two hundred she kept in her Mind
Shared them with no one. Less than a baker's
Dozen, in her living years, were published,
Promptly butchered.
Idiot editors!
They thought they knew better
what Emily's poems should be.
But I know better: they will never, ever --
Never ever will they be so clever.

But the whole of the poem clangs for me. Mostly, I can't find anything to elevate my appreciation for her life and work beyond what I already know (and I actually know comparatively little). I can understand the sentiment and devotion but can't find the poetry in it.
x
x
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 7,942
Total Threads: 19,708
Total Posts: 254,712
There are 99 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online