[Joe Crocker]

This post has turned into something of an essay. Sorry. My question is in bold at the end.

Philip Larkin’s “This be the verse” is a poem that countless teenagers have committed to memory because it speaks of parents who don’t understand them, because it allows them to say “fuck” and because it’s a great poem. But as we get older and have our own kids it seems a bit one-sided, ignoring the hopeful and heart-warming friction in family life. Sometime in the late ‘90s I was inspired to compose a counterargument to Larkin, quite unaware that many other better poets were doing the same thing. Later on an online poetry site (whose name I can’t remember and is probably now defunct) I came across a version attributed to Adrian Mitchell. I think it went like this

They tuck you up, your mum and dad,
They read you Peter Rabbit, too.
They give you all the treats they had
And add some extra, just for you.

They were tucked up when they were small,
(Pink perfume, blue tobacco-smoke),
By those whose kiss healed any fall,
Whose laughter doubled any joke.

Man hands on happiness to man,
It shines out like a sweetshop shelf
So love your parents all you can
And have some cheerful kids yourself.

A typically life-affirming Adrian Mitchell poem. The line that really sang to me was “It shines out like a sweetshop shelf” and when I compared his version with my own, I understood why he was a poet and I was pretending.

But…

I recently bought an Adrian Mitchell anthology ("Come On Everybody", Bloodaxe 2012) and the line I love isn’t there. The final verse simply has the original Larkin line “It deepens like a coastal shelf”. It feels to me that the sweetshop line serves Mitchell’s message much better and is the sort of thing I think he would write.

I searched for the sweetshop line on Google and it led me here to the Eratosphere site. Longtime Eratosphere member John Whitworth reproduced a similar example containing the line and attributed it to Mitchell. However, he acknowledged that his version was from memory and he had written his own parody (published in Poetry Review), as had the poet Simon Rae. I have tracked down several “This be the verse” parodies but haven’t found those ones. I sent John a personal message yesterday, not realising that he died recently. I contacted Bloodaxe to ask if they had any ideas and Neil Astley suggested that it may be an earlier draft or perhaps it was an impromptu revision typical of Mitchell's live performances

So my question is: where does the Sweetshop line come from? I sort of hope it is by Adrian Mitchell, but might it be from John Whitworth, Simon Rae or someone else. Or is my version a garbled mix of several parodies?

My thanks in advance to anyone willing to help.

[Mark McDonnell]

Hi Joe,

I’m impressed by the extent of your sleuthing already, though I can’t help you I’m afraid. I remember reading that thread, though it predates my time here.

But anyway, I love Larkin and the poem and the parody is fun. Poor old John.

Welcome to The Sphere and good luck!

[Orwn Acra]

I checked all of John's later books and couldn't find any parodies of this poem (in case John had accidentally transposed one of his own lines into the Mitchell), but I was sure he wrote one. Perhaps it is in one of his earlier books, although these generally don't have those sorts of parodies. I can check if you want.

There was a Speccie comp called "This Be the Reverse" asking to send in refutations of the Larkin. The sub-forum that posts the weekly Speccie is hidden to non-users but I think you can log in with the password if you ask one of the mods. Search "2730" and you will find the two related threads, though none of them have the line.

One guess is that the Speccie ran this competition previously, where Mitchell won and so where John read it. The line was subsequently changed in book publication. Then again, it could be that Lucy Vickery read the Mitchell somewhere first and then based the weekly comp around it.

[Ann Drysdale]

Here's a post of John's dated April 24th 2008.

Philip, my own little squib is buried in the back numbers of Poetry eview up in my loft. It was a competition (they did competitions in those days) and I won some poetry books. Angela Brazil came in somewhere. As for 'They tuck you up' I haven't got Simon's poem but here's Adrian Mitchell's, a doughty rhymer though his politics are dodgy according to me.

They tuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to but they do.
They give you all the quilts they have
And add some pillows just for you.

But they were tucked up in their turn
By other dads and other mums
Who sometimes took them to the beach
And sometimes helped them with their sums

Man hands on happiness to man.
It shines out like a sweetshop shelf.
So love your parents all you can
And have some cheerful kids yourself.

I cheated. I can't find Mitchell's middle stanza so I put in what I thought he might have written.

[Joe Crocker]

Thanks for your endeavours. As Ann Drysdale notes, the parody written by John Whitworth lies "buried in back numbers of Poetry Review up in my loft" and was a competition winner. So if anyone has easy access to old volumes it might be findable.

Interesting speculation that it may have appeared in a Spectator competition. Interesting because I think the very first "This Be The Verse" parody also appeared in The Spectator in 1991 by Richard Kell. And much more recently, last year, there was a similarly motivated, identically titled but not quite as good version in an article by James Tooley

I haven't yet managed to find the Lucy Vickery competition winners, but will persevere

[Joe Crocker]

Ok Orwn. I found the Spectator competition. And John Whitworth was given an honourable mention. There were some very clever entries, and if I'd known about it, I might have entered too.

Here (Drills and amusements section, parodies thread, post 57 Parodies of Larkin's "This be the verse"), for the sake of completeness is my reaction circa 1997. Never published, but I do trot it out on special occasions.



But if anyone can trace the Sweetshop line, I would still love to find out
.

[Ann Drysdale]

I thought I did. See post #4.

[Joe Crocker]

Hi Ann. Yes I realise that John Whitworth used the sweetshop line in his post back in 2008. However, he attributed it to Adrian Mitchell and the published version of Adrian Mitchell's "This be the worst" does not contain this line. (The first and middle verses also differ) My memory is that I saw the sweetshop version on a website that predates the Whitworth post, probably in the early noughties, but I can no longer find it. So I was wondering who originated it. If John Whitworth didn't write it. who did? Was it an early draft by Mitchell or a later improv. Or was it by someone else?

[Matt Q]

Hi Joe, and welcome to the Sphere.

So, I had a quick Google. Here's a version of Mitchell's poem with the sweetshop line that was posted on an online forum in May 2006, 2 years prior to John's post; you can find it toward the bottom of this page:

http://vancouverjazz.com/forums/arch...hp/t-1643.html

Is that the one?

best,

Matt

[Joe Crocker]

Thanks Matt, that is the version of the poem I had in my head and it is the earliest version with a date. But it still attributes the poem to Adrian Mitchell, whereas all the published versions (in All Shook Up, Bloodaxe 2000, and Come on everybody, 2012) do not have the sweetshop line. So where did the poster in your 2006 link find that version?