[Martin Elster]

Jayne,

I love the way you get just the right tone of voice and the jargon of a real estate agency.

I like the subtly ominous ending of the first piece, but the second is also good in terms of depicting 'Planet Earth' as damaged property and the eco-poetry feel to it.

The first is a bit more scientific and speculative (I like that aspect), while the second is more literal, unvarnished fact, with authentic agent-speak.

I think the way you handle the controlling metaphor of Earth as real property is quite clever.

[Jayne Osborn]

Thanks, Martin. I went for a job as an estate agent many moons ago, but I was required to work every weekend and have Wednesdays off, so I said 'No thanks.' Meanwhile, I've had a 3rd attempt with another different take on it.

For Sale:

Make: Planet
Model: Earth
One owner
Condition: Used
Age: 4.54 billion years
Taxed: Heavily
Insurance group: 50 (Highest)
MOT: Expired

History:
This make is very common, though only the one model of ‘Earth’ was created, hence its value to an enthusiast is infinite.
The owner always planned to keep it forever but He has now tired of it.
Several attempts have been made to procure ownership in the past, by megalomaniacs in search of world domination, but these have always failed.

Earth is in extremely good condition for its age and is still a good runner. The new owner must be prepared to devote a great deal of time and do a lot of maintenance in order to prevent major problems in the future.

It still has the capacity to give a world of pleasure to the right person. Why not book a test-drive and see for yourself?

[Martin Elster]

Roger,

I like yours. (I didn't see it till now, since we cross-posted.) Shouldn't "principles only" be "principals only"?