[John Whitworth]

With Bazza on holiday there's nobody watching the staggers. I popped into a newsagent today and found that the Great Bill had won money in a competition I knew nothing about. I also found that this week's offering is to write a piece called The Dawkins Delusion by God. I don't know how long (125 words?) and I don't know when for. I will let you know as soon as I can. But you can have a think while I think of reasons for God to write in verse.

125 words by 23 September.

[John Whitworth]

That 125 words is a killer. Curious when lefties as a race are so long-winded.

The Dawkins Delusion by God

A silly gawk called Richard Dawkins wrote a silly tract:
The God Delusion, all confusion, pretty light on fact.
I don’t exist for scientists. Know what? I don’t give twopence.
So many who embraced that view have got a rude come-uppance.

No bleeding joke, some Persian bloke read writing on the wall.
Undoubted fact, that chap got whacked, no clemency at all.
Likewise the godforsaken sods of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Likewise King John…. I could go on like there was no tomorrer.

Contentious talk from Richard Dawkins counts for sweet f.a.
It soon must be that he (not Me) will sadly pass away,
The bloody man will see what Pandemonium got built on,
While I rehearse in Godlike verse the message of John Milton.

[Roger Slater]

The Dawkins Deluson, by God

Someday, at the Pearly Gates,
you'll meet a famous atheist.
Peter, look at him and say,
"Sorry, Dick, you don't exist."

If he chuckles at the joke,
then let him in. But time will tell.
May he laugh with me up here,
or may he laugh at me in hell.

[John Whitworth]

Nice on, Roger. It reminds me of a VERY short story by Somerset Maugham - I'm talking of a real short story.

[Allen Tice]

Yesterday upon the stair
God met a Dawkins who wasn’t there.
Dawkins wasn’t there again today,
How God does wish he’d go away.

When God came home last night at three
The Dawkins man waited there for He,
But when God looked around the hall
He couldn’t see Dawkins there at all!

Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door.

Last night God saw upon the stair
A Dawkins man who wasn’t there.
Dawkins wasn’t there again today,
How God does wish he’d go away.

(Deep apologies to William Hughes Mearns)

[John Whitworth]

I must admit I'm surprised more people don't have it in for Dawkins - such a smug, humourless, sentimental prat - God could scarcely be worse.

[Don Jones]

********************

[Gail White]

Never mind - problem solved.

[basil ransome-davies]

'Darwin's Rottweiler'? Darwin's poodle, more like. The silly empiricist muppet will believe anything as long as it's 'evidence-based'. Can't get his over-educated head around miracles, ya-boo to a First Cause, theology all mumbo-jumbo, but ooh – here comes the protozoic slime, look mum, there's a dinosaur, and now the monkeys are jumping out of the trees and standing upright. Next thing they're talking, fermenting grapes and inventing Cartesian dualism. Is he having a laugh, or what? Mind you, I knew this was coming, absolute prescience being part of the job description. Suits my purpose, as a matter of fact. When the faith is getting a touch moribund there's nothing like a rabid, big-mouthed enemy to bring it back to life.

[Jayne Osborn]

Well, I simply have to say - if anyone can beat that, Bazza, I'll go on a date with Dawkins!!! (Or maybe not...but, seriously, that's brilliant, you clever old sod.)