[Maryann Corbett]

I think I agree that the best result here would be a kicking-off of a limericks thread over on Drills and Amusements. So I'm going to move it. And away we go.

[Duncan Gillies MacLaurin]

There was an old couple of lovers
who farted well under the covers.
Said one: "Have you noted
the duvet has floated
to somewhere quite high up above us?"

Duncan

[RCL]

These seem similar to what were once known as "Goose Mother Rhymes."

[John Whitworth]

Conrad Aiken wrote this which he called a limick.

There's a vile old man
of japan
who roars
at whores
'Where's your fucking fan?'

[Martin Elster]

Limicks
by Ogden Nash

An old person of Troy
Is so prudish and coy
That it doesn't know yet
If it's a girl or a boy.

Two nudists of Dover,
Being purple all over,
Were munched by a cow
When mistaken for clover.

[Martin Elster]

UNDETERRED

A tough dog who stole everyone’s lunches,
When hit, simply rolled with the punches,
Till a black belt named Rick
Gave that dog such a kick,
He now hides while their lunches he munches.

--Martin E.

[John Whitworth]

Here is the limerick from the Larkin play thread. Not that great but it's the first limerick I've seen with Brittany Spears in it. But doubtless not the last.

A lesbian feminist scholar
Lived a life of high-principled squalor
Till she went to Tangiers
With Brittany Spears
And I’ll tell you the rest for a dollar.

[FOsen]

Good one, but it's Britney, Beavis. Here's mine:

A warped, morbid, stammering pervert,
Once attempted to animadvert
A vile, shouted obscenity,
Which was met with serenity;
What emerged was a harmless b-blurt.

BANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POST BANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTBANNED POSTFrank

[This message has been edited by FOsen (edited May 04, 2008).]

[Philip Smith]

A student of cryptology
Wrote his poems in Linear B
They were very erotic
Transcribed to demotic
Though nobody knew this but he

[John Whitworth]

Sorry about that. I must have been thinking about Britney, that place in France where Sir Lancelot came from.