In addition to the downright cleverness of this poem, I admire Susan's "stiffened" stance toward all the impulses it has been subjected to, both here and at DE. There were several objections to "silly"; "stiffened" received a lot of criticism; and we were pretty evenly, if vociferously, split over the second twist of the knife in the last line.
I liked "silly" not for itself but because Susan deftly overthrew it - this is no goose but a vixen.
I still cannot decide on the value of "stiffened" vs "made stiff", although both sides offer compelling reasons for their views. Neither do I really understand the last line with its subjective overlay on "thinks". Does the man think, or does the poet think the man thinks? And does he think the woman in the portrait looks or behaves like the speaker? I think I'm undecided because Susan has made it undecidable - and that's not a bad thing.
As to the craft, I'll leave it to the more experienced to say how it stacks up for a Nemerov. I'll just say it's a sonnet on a par with the finest of Rhina Espaillat's or R.S. Gwynn's, both Nemerov winners as I recall.
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Bill
[This message has been edited by Wild Bill (edited December 22, 2003).]
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