Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 07-21-2006, 01:42 AM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 8,307
Post

I rammed an awl into my index finger a few days ago, and now have to type one-handed. (Yeah, in theory I should be able to type nine-fingered, but in practice my wounded finger keeps automatically jumping in to help unless I restrain the whole hand.)

Please compose greeting card verses (get well soon, sympathy, congratulations) to cheer me up.

Julie Stoner
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 07-21-2006, 02:34 AM
Jason Kerr Jason Kerr is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Austin, TX (originally)
Posts: 209
Post

Julie,

Your finger's wound will outheal my heart's;
Your title, directed at me, is what smarts.

Jason

[This message has been edited by Jason Kerr (edited July 21, 2006).]
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Unread 07-21-2006, 07:57 AM
Larry Powers Larry Powers is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Silver Spring, MD, USA
Posts: 361
Post

It thuckth, to dthab your finger with
an awl. You got thomeone to kith
the boo-boo, for you? What a pain!
Whoothe gonna wipe up that blood-thtain?
I know it hurt-th, 'cauthe we're connected.
(Hope it doethen't get infected.)
It'th gonna throb, if you don't keep
it elevated. Ithe it deep
(the hole it made, ithe what I'm athking)?
Uthe toilet paper and thome mathking
tape, to bind it with, if you
are out of gauthe. Of courth, it'th true
that, wunth the bleeding'th thopped, you thould
exthpothe it to the air. It'th good,
if you thould have Mercurochrome
thomewhere around (athe every home
thould have), to uthe it to annoint
the wound. I gueth you get the point.
From me and all the other thwithethe,
pleathe acthept our warmetht withethe.



[This message has been edited by Larry Powers (edited July 21, 2006).]
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Unread 07-21-2006, 10:54 AM
Rose Kelleher's Avatar
Rose Kelleher Rose Kelleher is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Maryland, USA
Posts: 3,745
Post

Ouch!

And now to add to your pain.

I'm sorry that you're hurt at awl,
but if you had to be,
I'm glad you did it with an awl,
conveniently for me.

I'm glad you didn't take a fall
and fuddle up your femur,
or smash into a concrete wall
and blitzify your Beemer;

or, in the bowels of some mall,
slip and trash your tibia
while squatting in a bathroom stall
('cause then we'd hafta rib ya);

or leap into a barroom brawl
and total your patella,
or throw a rabid dog a ball
and end up like Old Yella;

or find yourself supine, asprawl,
and clutching at your clavicle,
run over by some drunken pol
who doesn't even have a cl-

ue; or capsize in a squall
and fructify your fibula,
or find yourself in the evil thrall
of drooling old Count Dribula;

or try to fake a Southern drawl
and fracture your papillae,
encouraging rhymes that are appall-
ing, ludicrous, and silly.

In short I'm glad, if y'had to maul
some part, it was your finger,
and that you did it with an awl.
Get well, and don't malinger!


[This message has been edited by Rose Kelleher (edited July 21, 2006).]
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Unread 07-21-2006, 03:15 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 16,476
Post

I have an old "classic joke" poem with the title "It Could Be Worse." I know the poem itself could be better.

IT COULD BE WORSE

Teddy always said, “It could be worse.”
To every cloud he found the silver lining.
As all his friends would mutter, weep and curse,
Teddy always undercut their whining

by saying that the tragedy, though gory,
“could have been worse.” And so his friends determined
that they would manufacture a tragic story
so awful even Teddy would affirm it

couldn’t be worse. The next time they saw Ted,
they asked him, “Have you heard about poor William?
Last Saturday he found his wife in bed
with Alexander, took a gun and killed him,

then murdered his wife and committed suicide!”
“It could be worse,” was all that Teddy said.
“How so?” his friends demanded. He replied:
“If it had been last Friday, I’d be dead!”

[This message has been edited by Roger Slater (edited July 21, 2006).]
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Unread 07-21-2006, 08:18 PM
Alder Ellis Alder Ellis is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: New York, NY, USA
Posts: 924
Post

The Inconsolable

"It could be worse!" the smiling nurses
say, and, "Count your blessings!"
while down below the idling hearses
wait for the last confessings.

I'm sick of all the consoling verses
and every cheery letter.
On my last day I'll count my curses
and cry: "It could be better!"


Two Truths

"It could be worse," the wise men say, and surely that is true,
but the wisest of them sometimes add: "It could be better, too."
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Unread 07-22-2006, 09:04 AM
Jerry Glenn Hartwig Jerry Glenn Hartwig is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Fairfield, Ohio
Posts: 5,509
Post

It's oft believed the poet's mind
is what makes poems, on command;
but those who've written for some time
have learned it's really awl in the hand.

*snicker*

Get well, soon.

ps: I know - that was awl-ful.

[This message has been edited by Jerry Glenn Hartwig (edited July 22, 2006).]
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Unread 07-23-2006, 11:21 AM
Julie Steiner Julie Steiner is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Posts: 8,307
Post

Thank you very much for your warm thoughts! I'd love to return the favor! Anyone have a booboo I can kiss?

Julie Stoner

PS--I'm thinking hangnails, not hemorrhoids, for the boo-boo kissing. But, from a distance, I'll write you a sympathetic verse for just about any ailment.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Unread 07-25-2006, 04:42 AM
Jerry Glenn Hartwig Jerry Glenn Hartwig is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Fairfield, Ohio
Posts: 5,509
Post

Got one for apathy, brought on by old age????
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Unread 07-25-2006, 08:32 AM
Larry Powers Larry Powers is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Silver Spring, MD, USA
Posts: 361
Post

When I was young, I was invested
in all the issues of the day.
But now that I have climbed and crested
a certain hill, I'm glad to say
that I'm no longer ruled by passions.
It's not that I have no beliefs
or criticisms of the fashions
that others follow, but my beefs
with politics and social mores
don't seem to matter quite as much
as they once did. I make few forays
to town, nor do I keep in touch
with world events. The strident railings
of those who've always got a bone
to pick remind me of the failings
I once displayed, myself. They drone
on, rabble-rousers, world-improvers,
servants of the One True God,
attempting to convince us "movers
and shakers" to embrace this fraud
or that. But I ignore their urgent
requests for money. I don't sign
petitions dealing with emergent
conditions. Things would be just fine,
if people'd only pay attention
to their own business, like I do.
So, leave me out of your dissention.
I'm done with that, and done with you.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,399
Total Threads: 21,841
Total Posts: 270,805
There are 1400 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online