[Allen Tice]

Clive,
at first I wanted to commit an unfeeling knee-jerk reaction and mock (or not reply at all). Fortunately, I have a good deal of forehead and thought it through. Maybe it's the identical rhyme used three times, or something else, but karma went to a new level, and I sensed a whiff of something extraordinarily natural to English that in some way parallels the salt water in the original Anthology couplets.

Can it be developed beyond this case? ?

- Allen

[Clive]

Thanks Martin.

Allen - the rhyme word, as I see it, is not "there" but the word that precedes it. "There" is demoted, so in effect, it's a feminine rhyme ending each line.

[Holly Martins]

Great piece of work, Clive - very publishable, I would have thought. However you do cheat slightly with those extra syllables which take the edge of the silly sing-song of the orthodox limerick and allow you just a bit more scope to write something sincere and moving.