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  #11  
Unread 11-07-2019, 08:39 AM
Aaron Novick Aaron Novick is offline
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John liked the Sphere when we patiently fixed his more promising poems word by word, enjambment by enjambment, and drastic cut by drastic cut. Now that we're less eager to co-author his poems, and instead critique them, it's no surprise that he no longer finds us useful.
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  #12  
Unread 11-07-2019, 09:33 AM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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I could PM this, but here it is. I want to thank John for his pointing out Gareth Williamís dissertation on Ovid.
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Unread 11-07-2019, 11:00 AM
James Brancheau James Brancheau is offline
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Hey John, don't go out in a huff. You know, use some fat juicy swear words. Really, stick around and take a little abuse. Plus, I like this poem. Actually, the close is, in my view, wonderfully melancholic. I'd do some things differently-- green heart fell flat for me, and the heart having wings, Christ. But, still, "still the heart wings," perhaps, might give that moment more energy. I am sympathetic to the criticism you've received, but, at the same time, it's my feeling that you're a very voice-driven poet and it's easy to miss wide. Anyway, the voice came through for me here. I often love the meanderings, but I think you could sharpen up some edges. My take on the poem, and the whole thing. Cheers!
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  #14  
Unread 11-07-2019, 11:33 AM
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Allen Tice Allen Tice is offline
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If you knew the crap Iíve survived, youíd curl up and hibernate.
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