Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Notices

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Unread 11-04-2019, 12:27 PM
RCL's Avatar
RCL RCL is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,423
Default Extravagance

Moo Music

Thoreau's Cow


Our language should be extra vagant! taking
flight beyond all bounds, as when a cow
with bulging udder jumps the cowyard fence
and finds her calf to suckle vital milk.


Emerson's (Artificial) Cows

The English cattle now are artificial.
Bakewell bred away profitless parts,
beef’s value being only milk and steaks,
the stables converted to chemical factories.


Melville’s (Fishy) Cows

The steamy Try Pots where young Ishmael dines
Is aromatic of fish chowder and shellfish,
and even his glass of milk tastes strongly fishy,
but he soon observes cows munching scraps of fish.


Frost's Cow

A vagrant cow that leaps a wall to forage
through fermenting windfall apples savors
oozing syrupy cider, and when seen
is chased away and bellows—udder withered.



Cow Country Extravagance

Thoreau:

Our language should be extra vagant!
taking flight beyond all bounds,
as when a cow with bulging udder
jumps the cowyard fence and finds
her calf to suckle vital milk.

Frost:

A vagrant cow that leaps a wall
to forage through fall’s windfall apples,
savors their oozing syrupy cider,
but when seen she’s chased away
and bellows—bearing a withered udder.

These US writers image ways
domestic tropes may lean and sway.


Note:
Thoreau, Walden, “Conclusion”
Frost, “The Cow in Apple Time”
__________________
Ralph

Last edited by RCL; 11-11-2019 at 10:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Unread 11-06-2019, 08:45 PM
Mark Stone Mark Stone is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 354
Default

Ralph, Hi.

1. This is an interesting poem.

2. I notice that all the lines have four emphases, except for L7, which has five. If you want to address this, here is one possibility:

A vagrant cow that leaps the wall
to forage as the apples fall

3. I wonder why it is important to say that the writers are “US writers.” It is true that they are US writers, but the poems are about cows, and there are cows all over the world. Perhaps I’m missing something.

4. If you would like for the last two lines to end in a true rhyme, one option is:

These US writers show the way
domestic tropes may lean and sway.

Best wishes,

Mark
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Unread 11-11-2019, 10:04 PM
RCL's Avatar
RCL RCL is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,423
Default

Mark,

Thanks for reading and in some way finding it “interesting.” I’ve changed direction a little and added cows from Emerson’s English Traits (1856) and Melville's Moby Dick. Series still under construction.
__________________
Ralph
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,016
Total Threads: 19,914
Total Posts: 254,914
There are 198 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online