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  #1  
Unread 02-06-2014, 04:24 PM
Jayne Osborn's Avatar
Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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Default The Oldie 'Suspense' Competition by 7th March

I've never heard of Breaking Bad but it doesn't matter; 'Suspense' is a topic with plenty of scope -- Gosh, I can hardly wait to see what you all come up with!

Jayne

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxThe Oldie Competition
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxby Tessa Castro


COMPETITION NO 174

I’ve noticed that the American series called Breaking Bad employs the same kind of suspense that Hitchcock used. Please write a poem called Suspense, either light or serious, on any subject that fits. Maximum 16 lines.

Entries to ‘Competition No 174’ by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman Street, London W1T 3EG), fax (020 7436 8804) or email comps@theoldie.co.uk by 7th March 2014.
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Unread 02-06-2014, 04:27 PM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
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Hooray for poems!
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Unread 02-07-2014, 06:45 AM
Brian Allgar Brian Allgar is online now
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xxxxxxxxxxSuspense

North by Northwest? I took the wrong direction,
And now I’m stuck on this absurd projection.
Suspended by my fingernails and toes,
I’m hanging on to Lincoln’s massive nose.
“I’m just an English visitor from Taunton”,
I tell the bad guys, “I’m not Roger Thornton!”
“You’re not?” the leader says suspiciously.
“Then tell us, wise guy, where the f— is he?”
I’d gladly tell them what they want to know -
Perhaps they’d very kindly let me go -
But Thornton’s role was played by Cary Grant,
Who died decades ago, and so I can’t.
I’m waiting for the good guys to arrive,
As in the film, and get me out alive.
I hope it’s soon - the wind is chilling me,
And frankly, the suspense is killing me.

Last edited by Brian Allgar; 02-07-2014 at 11:29 AM.
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Unread 02-07-2014, 06:54 AM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
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That's terrific, Brian, but I for one will not be making you any rash promises about hats.
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Unread 02-08-2014, 12:39 PM
Jerome Betts Jerome Betts is offline
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True story, but probably too macabre for the competition

They found his body hanging from a hook –
A suicide the day they did the wages.
It seems the auditors were due to look
At Tom’s accounts in search of all the pages
His wife suspected he was prone to cook.
She told them‘He’d been in suspense for ages’.

Last edited by Jerome Betts; 02-11-2014 at 05:08 AM. Reason: Tweaks
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Unread 02-08-2014, 12:47 PM
Adrian Fry Adrian Fry is online now
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Jerome, you should enter your chilling poem for the comp; they do occasionally go for shorter and more serious items once in a way and this should be one such occasion.
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Unread 02-09-2014, 06:20 PM
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Jayne Osborn Jayne Osborn is offline
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Quote:
That's terrific, Brian, but I for one will not be making you any rash promises about hats.
I agree with Rob and, after eating an entire straw boater, I won't be making any more rash promises (to anyone) about hats either!

Jayne
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Unread 02-10-2014, 05:33 PM
Graham King Graham King is offline
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Brian, Jerome... good 'uns!


Spent cables of the bridge sing Twang!
The wind knifes, keening, through their harp;
Flood-waters surge below. Rocks sharp
Hunger, with many a fang.
My car slides nearer ruptured edge;
Crazed headlights saw this fear-drenched night -
It screams, falls - black roil snuffs their light.
Alone, clutching the ledge
Of skewed bridge rampart, I breathe - just -
Though gusts yet wrestle every breath
With tugs that taunt of looming death.
Can I hold on? I must!
By inch, intent on inch, I grasp;
Toes, fingers, sinews: life and hope…
A soul-change finds me nigh bank’s slope -
Lie prone - how dearly, gasp!


I originally began L8 'Behind' then opted for 'Alone'. Is that better? Might 'Above' be better still?
L8 'Can I hold on?' doesn't completely satisfy me. Too trite, or do such simple words befit the situation? I'm also considering 'Will I still hold?'
Thanks in advance for any comments offered.
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Unread 02-10-2014, 06:43 PM
Rob Stuart Rob Stuart is offline
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This needs a bit of work still. Suggestions welcome.

My silhouetted form, obese and bald,
Attended by that fruity London slur
Secured my fame worldwide. I have been called
The cinema’s pre-eminent auteur,
Epitomising what François Truffaut
Respected most; an individual voice,
Original and clear. I ran the show:
Found scripts myself, approved each casting choice,
Stamped Hitchcock style on everything in frame.
Uninterested in romantic plots,
Still less in jokes, I found that I became
Preoccupied with thrillers. I made lots:
Each year I put fresh crimes on celluloid,
Notched up another guiltless man to test,
Stuck in a blonde he should (but won't) avoid
Et cetera. It’s what I did the best.

Last edited by Rob Stuart; 02-10-2014 at 06:57 PM.
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Unread 02-11-2014, 01:39 AM
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John Whitworth John Whitworth is offline
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Nice, Rob. I would remove Hitchcock from the poem itself and not capitalize the initial letters of each line, thus leaving he reader something to do.
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