Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-23-2017, 12:17 PM
Felicity Teague's Avatar
Felicity Teague Felicity Teague is offline
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: Gloucestershire, UK
Posts: 197

Hi Rob,

You're welcome! Sorry it's all been a bit 'bitesize' so far; I’ll try to keep up with any revisions.

Best wishes,
Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2018, 04:50 PM
Ken Brownlow Ken Brownlow is offline
New Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: by the river
Posts: 91

Hello Rob

Forgive me for enjoying your tale of suffering; it is harrowing, forgive me again if I say the writing is clinical, the story is believable I found myself being drawn in, in a personal way.

I agree with Johanna about the personification of pain, if thatís the correct word, I also like the Ďlong fatí in the throat, given the situation you were in I reckon it would feel very fat and long.

You end S5 with your wife calling and then no more about that, I wasnít sure if youíre using that leave off as a device or if you come back to the phone call later in the book.

I like the sense of disorientation, the bumpy flow of time and the sudden impressions that run throughout the story.

Looking forward to reading more about your stay in the big house.

Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2018, 06:20 AM
Rob Wright Rob Wright is offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Philadelphia PA, U.S.A.
Posts: 776


First let me offer a warm welcome, not only to the Sphere itself, where I hope you will make many friends and share with us your words and ideas, but to the Fiction Forum itself. It has been sadly quiet here for a little while and I really appreciate having comments from new members here. Please visit us often.

And thank you for your comments. Which I found most helpful and encouraging. I particularly liked your response to the section on – yes, personification is the right wordBANNED POST– pain. And yes, the wife mentioned in the narration returns later in the story.

Once more, welcome and thank you. Oh, and don't worry about enjoying witnessing the pain of the narrator. I assure you it's quite an old and respectable habit. Charley Chaplin, Evelyn Waugh, Shakespeare (among others) have turned the practice into an art. I can only hope to follow feebly.
Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2018, 10:14 PM
Ken Brownlow Ken Brownlow is offline
New Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: by the river
Posts: 91

Rob, thank you for the welcome, it is appreciated.
Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right

Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 7,878
Total Threads: 19,486
Total Posts: 253,188
There are 183 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right

Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online