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Old 02-13-2018, 12:55 AM
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RCL RCL is offline
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Default Valentines, pro and con?

Anti-Valentine Cards

My all too picky bride
My love won’t be denied.
Myself that you hold dear
I worship in my mirror.

You once called me a mannequin
As if my poses were a sin.
I think you are an elite snob
Since daily posing is my job!

You are a witch, it’s true,
Who boils me in your brew.
I’ve one last word for you
I’m perhaps, maybe, leaving you.

Don’t worry, dear, what’s up above:
I suffer unrequitable self-love.
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Last edited by RCL; 02-13-2018 at 04:28 PM.
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:05 AM
John Isbell John Isbell is offline
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Valentineís Day Poem

Strophe

I ask myself: would you incline
to be my willing Valentine?
Perhaps I should be asking you,
it seems the proper thing to do.
But youíre already spoken for!
Lifeís played this trick on folks galore.

Antistrophe

I may be spoken for, but this
goes for you too! Since wedded bliss
unites us each day of the year,
Iíd have to say the way is clear
for you to give that card to me.
And on it, put your minstrelsy.

13.ii.2018
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:19 PM
Adrian Fry Adrian Fry is offline
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I wanted to be wholly loved
By you and you alone
And now I am, I wholly want
Just to be let alone.
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:46 PM
Roger Slater Roger Slater is offline
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First turn water
into wine
and then improve
a Shakespeare line
and make the sun
at midnight shine
and bring me back
a kosher swine,
and I shall be
your valentine.
(Otherwise
I will decline).
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:19 PM
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RCL RCL is offline
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Nice ones so far!


Cupid’s strikes are random treasure,
lasting gifts of painful pleasure.
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Old 02-13-2018, 11:09 PM
Patrick Murtha Patrick Murtha is offline
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Location: Kansas
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A Valentine Wish

Let not your whippersnapper's dart
Sting me in yonder hinder part,
And yet, if you should prick but me,
I pray the gal I see is she
Whom through the barnyard I have spied,
Whose hair is brown like Bessie's hide,
And like the pond, her eyes are blue,
Whose lips are red and moist like dew,
Who tosses bales outta the barn,
Who spins a tale as well as yarn,
Out-burps the boys, but blushes too,
Who belted me a time or two,
And yet her hands are soft as down,
And skin is slightly sun-baked brown--
For her I'll happ'ly bear the dart
Perchance you poke my hinder part.
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Old 02-14-2018, 10:18 PM
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RCL RCL is offline
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Adios, St. V!

Talkiní ĎBout My Gal

Of classic beauty thereís no trace
when I behold her wretched face.
Below her brow one eyebrow bristles,
her eyes are rheumy, teeth like thistles.
Her ski-slope nose is always twitching,
and runs a little when sheís bitching.
Her chin and face donít seem akin,
so far from matching itís a sin.
And tangled hair, to top it all,
looks like a muddy waterfall.
But I forgive her ticks and fleas
when my pupĎs panting at my knees.
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Old 02-14-2018, 10:23 PM
Matt Q Matt Q is offline
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I like to watch you sleep and know youíre mine,
and then throughout the day, make plans for you.
Imagine what weíll do, my Valentine!
I like to watch you sleep and know youíre mine,
though you donít have a clue: I leave no sign
of entry. But this cardís to say itís true.
I like to watch you sleep and know youíre mine,
and then throughout the day, make plans for you.
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Old 02-14-2018, 10:26 PM
Matt Q Matt Q is offline
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Sweetheart, my love for you is measurable
in continents. Is taking things too far
a trait all lovers share? You fill me full!
Sweetheart, my love for you is measurable
in oceans, rivers, lakes, the moonís pale pull,
the tides. Yet though you are my own Pole Star,
sweetheart, my love for you is measurable:
Incontinence is taking things too far.
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